Thursday, November 18, 2010

Observations on the TSA’s Porn Racket

I just have a few observations about this whole TSA outrage that I don’t think many people have made:

  • First of all, the TSA grunt workers (you know, the gropers) are claiming that they are just doing their job.  This is probably the biggest excuse of the 20th century.  As you as you say that, it’s OK if you keep the Jews in the camps or club baby seals.  You were just doing your job, as if you had no choice.  I remember a video I saw in high school where psychologists wanted to find out what made all those people want to guard the Jews at the camps.  So they set up a scenario where a subject would ask another person questions via radio and if the question was answered wrong, the subject would shock him.  The reality was that the other person was faking the whole thing: there was no electricity going through his body.  But the subject was made to think so and that with each shocking, it would get worse.  Apparently, many people came close to the lethal levels before they left.  All the while, they would make excuses about how they were told to do it.  Also, nobody bothered to help the other guy, who they thought was in danger, when they stormed out in their righteous anger.  Such is the nature of people and so we’re seeing it played out in our airports.
  • The airline companies are a big and wealthy corporation.  Why do we the taxpayer have to fund security for their property?  Commercial airlines are not publicly owned and yet the government seems hell bent on providing security for them.  I say it’s time we let the airline companies pay for it all.  For one thing, they will probably find better ways of dealing with security threats.  And another thing is that we may actually be able to take our liquids on planes again.
  • Is it just me or does it seem like every time a terrorist attempts a stupid stunt that doesn’t work, the TSA decides to ban something else?  You have to take off your shoes, you can’t have liquids on the plane, and now it seems that the TSA is in the porn business.  And yet, the probability that someone would bring a bomb on a plane are next to nothing if you are a non-Muslim or hail from a non-Muslim country.
  • These full body scanners would not have worked with the diaper bomber.  He would have still made it through the security checkpoint.  Besides, I’m pretty sure he didn’t depart in the United States, if memory serves me.  When the government started pushing the full body scanners, I was very suspicious as to why because even then people were saying they wouldn’t stop an underwear bomber.  Now I find out that Michael Chertoff, the former Secretary of Homeland Security (as opposed to the Secretary of Defense) is behind these devices.  What a prick this guy is.  He has duel citizenship with Israel, he micromanaged the Katrina incident into utter failure, and he looks like an ugly version of the Monopoly guy without a top hat.  Must this butthole torment the American people?  Why George Bush chose this guy, who was a diplomat before his position as head of national security, I’ll never know.  Perhaps there was cocaine involved.
  • The whole problem would be solved if everyone in America stopped using airplanes to travel.  Take the train, drive a car, get in a boat, or ride in a bus.  Yes, it will take longer.  Yes, it may be more expensive.  But it beats the hell out of being molested by a total loser who probably enjoys his or her job more than most people do.
  • This problem really isn’t about privacy to me.  I know it is for a lot of people,  but a lot of people would take those photos in their homes and post them on Facebook if they wanted.  No, to me this is yet another example where the government treats you and me like a criminal when they have no reason to do so.  I still can’t get Claritin-D in my state without logging my address with the pharmacist.  The fact is, though, that with over 10,000 laws on the Federal books alone, you and I are probably all criminals.  It’s only a matter of time before a bored government agent takes interest in you.
  • I’m really peeved at conservatives these days.  If Bush were president, they’d all be defending these full body scanners and talking about how they are the greatest thing in the world.  Hypocrites.
  • I’m really peeved at liberals these days.  If Bush were president, they’d all be attacking these full body scanners and talking about how they are invasive and ineffective.  Hypocrites.
  • One of those last two statements weren’t entirely fair.  I know that Ann Coulter was attacking all the TSA screenings that were going on after 9/11.  That shows you how much clout conservatives really had with President Bush, which was between the ass and the hole.
  • If nothing else, this whole incident proves that progressive liberals love tyrannical government, unless they are out of power.  I know I’ve repeated this point, but I cannot emphasize it enough.
  • Lastly, what right does the government have to interfere with a contract between private economic actors?  If I buy a plane ticket, shouldn’t I be allowed to fly on that plane without government interference?  Also, what law was passed that specifically authorized the TSA the power to circumvent the fourth amendment?  Was it in the Obamacare legislation?  That pile of crap was 2000 pages long and it does oppress the poor in that if you are too poor to buy health insurance, you’ll be fined for it.  It wouldn’t surprise me if there was a whole section devoted to TSA groping procedures in that bill.

I hate the government these days.  Good thing my family doesn’t live too far away.  I hope my grandmother does OK when she visits my Aunt in Texas though.  She’s flying out of Ohio.  I hope she isn’t molested by an ESL TSA agent when it is so close to the anniversary of her recently deceased husband.

On the other hand, such a trauma might bring him back to beat the living piss out of said agent.  I’ll leave a bottle of his wine out just in case.

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