Friday, November 19, 2010

ACT: Priorities, Fight or Flight

No need for a lengthy discourse on this one, because it’s easy. The number one priority in this country has become… say it with me:

Airport Security

The solution is simple: dismantle the TSA and allow airlines to run their own security.

The reasons could go on for pages, but suffice to say… the TSA is a front organization that funnels government money into the pockets of security companies that use American travelers as guinea pigs. What’s more, we aren’t safer for it.

So what can you do? Luckily for the lazy slacktivist, there are things you “can do” to help which are really not doing anything at all.

For one thing, don’t fly, or if you must fly, maybe look into chartering a small plane from a small airstrip. But a lot of people need to travel by plane for business, medical, and personal reasons, so a boycott is not necessarily a feasible option for everyone.

If you must fly, consider taking just enough time necessary to write to your congressmen-elect (or the lame-duck, outgoing congressmen, if you prefer). I recommend a hand written letter. An e-mail will result in a form letter and no results. A typed letter may get read by a staffer. But an eloquent, hand-written letter (possibly on nice, expensive looking stationary) carries the most weight… which is really just a grain of sand, but you’ve done your part… until tomorrow, when you write another. The idea is to turn their office into a beach for the wave of progress to crash onto.

Tell them you’re a registered voter who is concerned with the abusive security measures at airports. Tell them no one should have to be subjected to humiliation simply because they want to travel. Ask them if they have endured the treatment, or if they would feel comfortable with their mother or daughter being viewed naked or groped.

I’ve already written to my district’s representative, and I plan to do it every business day from now until Thanksgiving, when I am driving across four states to be with family.

Another thing that people can do is already happening in a very big way: fill every social networking outlet you use with your disapproval. Blogs of every stripe (except certain Republicans) are coming out against the newly implemented measures.

If you’re feeling particularly ambitious and you’re in the category of “forced to fly,” you might want to consider filing suit. Bonus points if you make the call from the phone on the headrest in front of you on the plane.

“Hello, Lemmey, Banger, Harden firm, attorneys at law, how can I direct your call?”

“I was just sexually assaulted…”

You can also call your local airport and request that they “opt out,” as an airport in Orlando has decided to do, for fear of losing business.

You can also take your fight to the local level. Democratic city council officials in the liberal elitist ivory tower of New York are moving to ban the backscatter scanners in New York City limits. Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if you could get a local Republican official who still believes in small government to back a similar measure.

But every plan needs a joker in the deck, and I think the best way to protest this comes from the Germans:

Now that I’m naked and I have your attention…

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