Thursday, October 20, 2016

Friday, September 2, 2016

Bret Alan's Corner: Pardon My French

If you want to make something bland seem better, say it's "French." You kiss family, but you French kiss someone you would fuck. Vanilla is synonymous with "plain," but French vanilla is exotic. Bread? No thanks. Oh, it's a French loaf? Well, maybe a little. You're toasting it? Never mind. Wait, it's French toast? Yes please! Maids are not exactly glamorous, but a French maid is a sexual fetish. Did you over roast your coffee beans to the point that they taste burnt? No you didn't, it's a French roast! And remember, I don't use vulgarity, but pardon my fucking French.
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