Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Thankful List

It's Thanksgiving, so it's time to give thanks... and why not, it's free, right?

I'll start it off with what I'm thankful for:

- I'm thankful that the native tribes had a horrible immigration policy.
- I'm thankful that I live in America, instead of one of the countries that could be fed for a week on the food we're going to consume in a day.
- I'm thankful that no one pats me down, takes nude images of me, or confiscates the liquids I'm carrying when I drive through several states.

Now it's your turn. And hurry up, I want to eat already.


  1. I'm thankful that no one pats me down, takes nude images of me, or confiscates the liquids I'm carrying when I drive through several states.

    Just give it time...

    I'm thankful for my beautiful girlfriend and soulmate (I had to say that, or she'd ask why I didn't include that in my thanks, but really, it's true), and for Bret "Ginx" Alan, because otherwise, I wouldn't have anything to get really, really angry about, and this blog thrives on such anger (thanks, Bret!).

    Also, I'm thankful I wasn't those homeless people begging for change in the parking lot the other day at the supermarket, when the place was jam-packed with shoppers loading their carts with Thanksgiving fixings.

    I'm also thankful that in addition to having a roof over my head (though in Obama's America, who knows how long that will last) I can have a nice Thanksgiving dinner today, one that will actually include all the elements, even pumpkin pie with Reddi-Wip!

    So thanks Universe for giving me life (I think) and thanks to all of the friends I've made here at the old Greatest Blog in the Universe, Skeptical Eye!

  2. I'm thankful for being scapegoated on SE and being associated with basically everything Nikk opposes... which leads me to be very suspicious of the fact I have not been accused of raping babies. Tacit support for such acitivites? Who's to say...

  3. You're the greatest, Bret, and very talented. But I don't think you believe that you are associated with everything I oppose. I don't even believe that, nor have I ever said any such thing. It's like Billy Batts and Tommy from Goodfellas; just busting your balls a little and you're Tommy making a big deal out of it.

  4. Now go get your fuckin' shinebox.

  5. I'm funny how? Like I'm a clown, like I amuse you?

  6. He's a big boy, he knows what he said.

  7. Bret, what? It's just, ya know, the way you write your posts, you're funny. You really are a funny guy!

  8. The funny thing is I hear you'll be baptizing his kid!

  9. T.C., he charges $7,000 for that.

    I, however, will baptize anyone for free. I can do it in the ocean, a swimming pool, a lake, you name it. It can even be done in a bathtub. I was even thinking of baptizing myself, but I've been baptized twice already (once as an infant, and once with a full immersion baptism as a teenager) so I don't want to overdo it.

    And if Bret comes back to the Lord, I'll baptize him, too. Maybe I'll become a traveling baptizer, preaching the word wherever I go. I need some tracts to hand out too, but I think I'll write my own, Jack Chick isn't my thing, really.

  10. Call it Ned's Baptism Caravan.

    Bret? You can't save Bret.

  11. You can lead a Bret to water, but you can't baptize him.


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