Friday, February 11, 2011

Dear Mr. Skeptical (episode 12)

Dear Mr. Skeptical

What happened to Bret "Ginx" Alan?


Miss Bretorite

Dear Miss,

Bret finally had it with whiny, pity party types who are nothing but a bunch of do-nothing pussies, so he decided (as a good "liberal") that he doesn't like any of the people he interacts with online (even those that agree with him and worship him) and so he has "fucked off" (his version of signing off) for good so he can go have a whiny pity party of his own (if ya can't beat 'em, beat off).

Dear Mr. Skeptical

Who will replace Bret "Ginx" Alan in the SE roster?


Bret Fan

Dear Lunatic,

The "Rooster" was a chicken suit designed for a contributor to strut around in and proclaim their cocky attitude to the world while saying nothing of substance, only "cockadoodle doo". Unfortunately, it was tailor-made for Bret, and I don't think it will fit anyone else.

Dear Mr. Skeptical,

Can you get drunk on root beer?



Dear Senseless,

If you take the time to learn the craft of beer-making, gather some roots, possibly somehow turn them into beer, then yes, it could happen.

I was a big root beer fan (like my hero, Nikk J) when I was child. My parents always wondered why I only ordered root beer at restaurants, and never any other kind of soft drink. It may have had something to do with the association I made between that can of Grandma's spiked root beer I drank one time ("Where's my damn root beer!" she yelled). Also, the fact that Grandma often came with us when we dined out, and brought her flask with her and secretly added some firewater to my glass each time (perhaps the quieting effect it had on me the first time persuaded her to continue to sedate me) made root beer my drink of choice.


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