Even though I was born into Holy Mother Church, I never went to confession once. I ain't knocking it, you understand, I just never did. As a born again evangelical type Christian in later years, I confessed directly to Jesus, mostly about my teenage masturbation. I kept a calender to mark off my successful days in a row of not masturbating, but I don't think I ever marked off more than two consecutive days of sin free living (back then, "sin" in my mind was almost entirely of a sexual nature, even though I weren't doing nothing with nobody and all my sexual escapades was all just in my mind). I'm glad I wasn't a religious Catholic back then. I would have worn myself and the parish priest out with my confessions.
However, if this had been available back then...Nah, I would have gone broke ($1.99 per confession?).
Wait, I still have to go to see the priest in person to receive absolution? Fuck it! I'm going all Martin Luther on this one!
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