Thursday, March 17, 2011

Too Long For Twitter: Extended Edition

This post is just a collection of thoughts that exceed twitter’s character limit.

I am sick and tired of conservatives who don’t realize that the Republicans are, by and large, using their pro-life stance to get their votes.  As far as I can tell, Roe v. Wade is still the law of the land and they haven’t done a thing about it.  They tried to outlaw the the third trimester abortions, but a judge shut that down and they gave up.  Don’t ever vote for someone solely because of one issue, especially if it’s a social issue.

Yesterday, I was discussing the life of Saint Augustine with my study group.  Nothing intellectual really, just an overview of his life.  When it was mentioned that he left his mistress of 15 years to become a monk, the women were wondering why he didn’t just marry her.  I stated that she wasn’t a virgin (and I was mostly serious).  Of course these modern women got all high and mighty and vented irrational nonsense about equality.  Look, that’s just how it is for most men.  We want to fornicate with you, but we’d prefer to marry you only if you were a virgin.  Yes, the fact that Augustine had been sleeping with her means he was probably the one who deflowered her, but that’s largely irrelevant.  There’s nothing special about a wedding night when you’ve been there and done that.

I am sick and tired of hearing about how we have to intervene in Libya and the rest of the Middle East.  No, we have to intervene in Barack Obama’s banning of oil drilling so he doesn’t blow out his back when he bows down to the King of Saudi Arabia.  It’s really for his own good.

And seriously, just because we’re the world’s only superpower, that doesn’t mean we get to go around bombing the crap out of everything we don’t like.  We need to be more like the silent badass.  You know, the guy in the corner who is minding his own business  until some idiot starts talking smack and knocking over his drinks.  Usually that movie scene ends with the asshole getting shot, stabbed, or badly beaten.  In the case of the United States, we’ll just nuke one of their major cities.

Besides, as long as we don’t have the will to use nuclear weapons (and we don’t), then there is no point to engage in war anyway.  As long as the enemy realizes that we won’t use any means necessary, then they know they can win.   I’m not saying we should nuke every hostile nation, but I doubt there would be many hostile nations if they knew we would drop that bomb on them if they looked at us funny.  They would be simply known as begrudgingly agreeable nations.

And please, don’t worry about the Chinese.  First of all, the Chinese government is totalitarian and therefore is prone to lying.  I’m sure all the economic statistics we get on them come from their government.  Second, if they really want to be a world superpower and pursue their own aggressive foreign policy, let them.  They’ll just end up owing use money because of all the debt they’ll need to maintain their military.

I filed my taxes last week.  I ended up owing money due to my wife’s jobs not withholding income tax.  It’s OK, I saw that problem last year and just simply set aside money for it.  To be honest, I’d rather owe the government tax money than have them owe me a refund.  The ideal situation would be no income tax at all, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon, despite a Republican controlled House.

I’ve never understood the reason for having friends.  Most of the friends I had growing up were either mal-adjusted abusers or idiots.  I’m sure my co-dependent personality had something to do with it, but I can’t conceive of wasting my time with anyone else.  I barely have enough time to spend with my wife as it is.

I don’t think I’m going to retire.  It’s not because of the fact that Social Security is broke, as I’d already expected that whole system to fail before I came to that decision.  No, I don’t think I will retire because I don’t have a compelling reason to have basically nothing to do each and every day.  I’ve taken vacations and usually I have a couple of days to do nothing when I take time off and I’m bored with myself by the end of it.  I can’t imagine doing that every day for the rest of my life.  At least when I’m working, I’m keeping busy and not thinking about how pointless my life is.  Some weekends I get like that.  Heck, I get like that some evenings when I’m alone.  Why would I do that day after day, especially when I’d probably be too old to masturbate anyway (but probably too old too care)?

Everyone I have any sort of deep discussion with seems to think I’m a smart guy.  I’m not.  I just have common sense.  You know, that thing that 12 years of government school takes away from you?  Somehow, I kept mine intact, probably because I’ve been the sort of person who hates collectivized activities like pep rallies and team sports.

To be honest, I never could get into football all that much.  I know that every man in America stakes their manhood on it, but I couldn’t care less.  I’ll watch the Superbowl, and I do like the Steelers, but only because I was born in Pittsburgh.  It’s in the nurturing I suppose.  Other than that, I’d rather not watch some ex-football star turned commentator talk about crap that everyone could figure out on their own.  Except if its Terry Bradshaw.  Did anyone else notice he lent his old shoulder pads to Fergie for the Superbowl halftime show this year?

What is with the modern music these days?  Whatever happened to heavy metal?  Seriously, we’re going to see the millennial generation turn out to be a bunch of beta males with no leader.  And the women will be browbeating their husbands over stupid shit that doesn’t matter.

Speaking of wussies, my youngest brother gave me this line about how you never hit a woman.  I retorted that you never hit a woman, unless she hits you.  He wondered how a woman could hit a man.  I guess he’s never been around a woman on PMS before.  I don’t blame him really, he grew up in a household of all men, except my mother of course, and she was actually quite the picture of self-discipline.  But still, is there anything more stupid than to assume that a woman won’t strike you?  My wife knows that I will not hesitate to strike back and, yes, I would go to jail for it.  Better that than being the constant victim of domestic abuse from a princess.

And on that note, I think I’m said all I need to say for now.  I promise I’ll try and get motivated to do some real blogging soon.

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