Phone calls from God still had some children in awe Thursday morning at St. Nicholas of Myra vacation bible school.
“He told me to fish for people,” 8-year-old Noelle Nunes said, “and tell everyone about him.”
“He told me to follow in his footsteps,” 7-year-old Jack Dubois said. “The phone call really surprised me. He didn’t say an awful lot, he just told me to follow him.”
Every child participating in this program received a call from God Wednesday as they took part in games, music and crafts all this week at the church’s vacation bible school.
ring..ring..ring
Dammit! I'm trying to post a post here.
"Hello!"
"This is God."
"What? Excuse me?"
"I have a message for the adults who deceived my precious little children by pretending to be me."
"Listen, whoever you are, I'm busy and I don't have time for jokes. I'm blogging!"
"I'm not laughing. Tell them I am angry and that my wrath is upon them. If they do not repent I will watch with derision as they burn in the fires of Hell!"
"Okay."
"Wait a moment, my son wants to add something. Yes, son? Oh, he just says that he's got some millstones ready to tie about their necks for throwing them into the sea. Thank you, son, but personally, I think the burning in Hell idea is much better."
click
Even creepier than when I was in vacation Bible school. I got a letter from God. It was so gay, something about loving me and wanting to be with me.
ReplyDeleteLook, it's not you, it's me. I just think we should see other deities. I'm more into Venus or Freya. I just don't see how it would work out between us. Besides, you have a son, and I'm not ready for kids yet, especially one that's 2000 years old. Like he would ever listen to what I had to say... he was back-talking to rabbis at age 7.
I think God should spend more time with his son, maybe get back together with the Holy Spirit, and leave us alone.