Friday, August 20, 2010

Dear Mr. Skeptical (episode 5)

Dr Skeptical?

Please Sir, we have a problem! We keep getting messages from dogs! The dogs don't really say anything we can understand, though, so we are quite the perplexed couple!

Do you have any cure or help for us! These dogs are driving us too close to madness!


All Barked Out!

Dear Barked,

Thank you for calling me by my proper title! As you may have heard, blogging school is a grueling eight years of pure hell! I almost gave up at times! But I made it, and I endured, just so I'd have the expertise to help poor, hopeless fools like you! So, again, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

First, stop using exclamation points! You might find that things look less bleak without their alarming presence. See what I mean? Next, as to the dogs and what they are saying, I can't offer any help there, except the advice to stop reading Bret "Ginx" Alan, at least until you calm down a little. I know he uses a dog as his avatar, but from what I've been able to conclude, he is human, not canine, so those confusing "dog" messages are just blog posts, nothing more, and are as difficult for the rest of us to comprehend as they appear to be for you.

Now, go take a stress tablet and write us in the morning.

Dear Mr. Skeptical

Who the hell is Tom?


Who Wants to Know

Dear Who,

Tom is a strange fellow who believes that WMD were found in Iraq after Saddam was overthrown, and that the US wars of aggression around the world actually are defending and protecting the "American way of life", which in a way is not far from the truth, if you mean the American ruling class way of life; they do protect and defend the ruling elites and the war-profiteering military-industrial complex.

Tom also is of that odd breed that thinks if you believe what the state does is evil, that you hate your country and should leave it and go elsewhere.

So, pay no attention to any Toms you encounter, because they're really Dicks.

Dear Skeptical Man,

How do I join your blog, post articles, get new followers for my own blog and exposure for my writing by being a contributor to Skeptical Eye, add your blog to my own blogroll, then, after a while, and without notifying you, drop myself as a contributor, remove Skeptical Eye from my blogroll, even though you still have my blog on yours, befriend an ass who loves banksters and keep him on my blogroll, and be an all around fake anarchist?


The Backstabber

Dear Back,

I don't have the answer to that question. Perhaps Don Emmerich can help you.

1 comment:

  1. I seriously LOL'd at the third one, I don't know who the second one is directed at, and regarding the first one...

    if you are hearing this in your head... burn it down... burn it to the ground...


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