Sunday, August 22, 2010

Language Nazis

People who get hung up on the use of “offensive words” are idiots (no offense to people who scored low on IQ tests in the 19th century). Jennifer Aniston harmlessly made the self-deprecating remark that she gets paid to dress up for a living, “like a retard,” and suddenly the language cops are comparing it to the tirade of Dr. Laura.

The most offensive thing about the Dr. Laura call was not that she said “nigger” [eleven times] to a black caller seeking advice for handling racist relatives; it’s that Dr. Laura, a trained psychologist, kept rudely interrupting the caller and ended it all with the remark that people shouldn’t marry outside of their own race. Dr. Laura is a bigot (no offense to people from Normandy); Jennifer Aniston just made fun of herself.

The Special Olympics issued this statement on Jennifer Aniston’s remarks:

Special Olympics is always disappointed when the R-word is used, especially by someone who is influential to society. The pervasive use of the R-word, even in an off the cuff self-deprecating manner, dehumanizes people with intellectual disabilities and perpetuates painful stereotypes that are a great source of suffering and negative stigma.
Of course, if Jennifer Aniston charged people money to watch mentally challenged people running around playing sports, that would make her a humanitarian. And what kind of stereotype is being perpetuated? The long held belief that retards like to play dress up? I thought retards like to smile and give people they just met big hugs.

The whole thing is rather dumb (no offense to people unable to speak). What kind of dick (no offense to private investigators) thinks giving people a hard time for the words they use will make the world a better place?

Frankly, I think the people who care about this kind of thing are a bunch of short-sighted (no offense to people with myopia) faggots (no offense to piles of sticks). Just because some people are born with mental disabilities does not mean it can be solved by acting like a jerk (no offense to masturbators).

These assholes (no offense to posteriors Republicans) seem to think making a big deal out of the casual use of language will make it less frustrating to be different in this world. “Why can’t everyone realize that some people need to be treated gingerly and differently from others?” We should be fighting for equality, not special privileges.

Language is not the villain (no offense to those who dwell in villages). Let the mentally challenged speak for themselves, unless you do-gooder bitches (no offense to female dogs) think people with mental handicaps aren’t capable. That notion is far more dehumanizing than anything Jennifer Aniston said.

If Jennifer Aniston was talking to someone with a mental impairment, I would bet my life savings that she wouldn’t have said something to the tune of, “Retard, retard, retard, you should just get over it and learn to marry within your IQ range!” These whiney (no offense to arrows) Liberals (no offense to me) should quit being a pain in the ass (no offense to hemorrhoid sufferers) and get over it.

[I’d like to apologize to the members of the German National Socialists for the title.]


  1. Clever, but words do have power, and I'm not a fan of "retard." I catch myself saying it from time to time because it was acceptable and common when I was growing up, but it's a habit I'm trying to break because I do think it's insensitive.

    Now does this mean Jennifer Anniston's slip was anything even remotely comparable to Dr. Laura's tirade? Absolutely not, but just because something is not "as bad" doesn't make it "good" or right. I think it's duty in a civilized society to treat each other with respect, and language is part of that. JA's faux pas is not justified by virtue of Dr. Laura's was worse. FSM help us if "as long as it's not Dr. Laura" is where we set the bar!

  2. It would be quite a stretch to say it's "good," just that... well you said it yourself. You catch yourself saying it. Why? Do you hate retarded people? Or is it just a word we use, like dumb or idiot, that could be construed as societally insensitive if we live in a society that is hypersensitive.

    I find a fundamental difference between saying "that is retarded" and literally calling someone with a mental disability a retard, either to their face or behind their back. I also find it incredibly ridiculous when people who have no right to be insulted show outrage by proxy.

    I know gay people who have no problem with me calling things "gay," but straight people who take offense at it. That seems like mock outrage to me. Why would homosexual friends have no problem? Maybe because they know I support real gay rights, like their right to marry and share insurance and be at the bedside of a dying partner. Equality comes from rights, not word choice.

    Actions speak so much louder than words, and if we as a society feel guilty about our use of the word "retard," maybe it's because we ought to feel awful for the marginalized role we have given the mentally impaired in society. And just like black people are still descriminated against despite Obama's election, it's not enough for the mentally impaired as a whole that we let George W. Bush be president, and I don't think electing Palin would help, either.

  3. Just one final note: words can't keep anyone down. When was the last time you heard a kind word uttered about politicians or lawyers... yet, they're doing just fine.


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