Monday, August 2, 2010


Dear eggs,

I learned an important lesson today: Don't boil eggs and blog at the same time.

A blog post came to my mind. I began to compose the brilliant prose that would win me yet more loyal followers, when suddenly (and yes, it was quite sudden) I smelled something strange, not at first anything like a burning, more like an angry elephant hurling peanuts at a circus audience, but then, yes, a, a cooking smell, like the odors drifting over the plain from a cowboy campfire...and then the awful smell of real burning became evident. But what could it be? I didn't have anything on the sto---

Holy hell! My eggs!!!

I rushed to the kitchen, saw the smoke rising to the ceiling, the water completely gone from the pot of eggs that were to be my lunch for the entire upcoming week. Hard-boiled hell greeted me when I came near the sorry scene. Eggs cracked and blackened, their exposed innards a nightmare of white and yolk that were barely recognizable as the delicious snacks they were meant to sad, and yet so noble. They gave the last full measure of an egg, doing their faithful duty to boil until just hard enough to be the primary ingredient in egg salad sandwiches, not thinking or caring that this time they would never fulfill their ultimate destiny to end up mixed with mayonnaise and between two slices of bread. They just took it, the way a man takes the hardships of life...never complaining, just doing his duty to the bitter end.

God bless you eggs...see you at the big egg sandwich feast in the sky, at the wedding supper of the Great Chicken.

Until we meet again...


Nikkolas Jakson

Blogger and Hard-boiled Egg Maker

Q. What did the egg say after he was put in a pot of boiling water?

A. I just got laid and now I'm getting hard!?!?

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