Friday, August 13, 2010

Dear Mr. Skeptical (episode 4)

Dr Dear Spetical

what this all about?



Dear Willie

Free yourself and then tell me, cause I have no clue.

Dear Mr. Skepticals

We have not heard anything from our buddy Bret. He is very much an atheist. Should we prays for him? We know he would not approve and all, but here in the south we prays for people when they goes missing.


Bret's buddies

Dear buddies,

Please address your questions to one Mr. Skeptical at a time from now on.

On the question of your friend? I think it is imperative that you pray for him and his safe return immediately. When he is back, you can tell him that he returned due to your entreaties to the Almighty. When he scoffs at such a notion, as he invariably will, you can tell him what an intellectually dishonest fool he is, then mention something about goats on fire. He won't understand a word you're saying, but at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that the fires of hell will burn even hotter for him when he finally faces the judgment day. Continuing in unbelief in the face of such overwhelming evidence of God's existence will send him several levels further down, and even though it's for eternity, and you could have spared him a hotter, more unbearable hell by letting him stay missing, still, his earthly pleasures will last a few more brief years before the smoke of his torment rises to the nostrils of the Lord.

You can rest assured that one way or another, it's all God's will anyway, so what the hay.

Dear Bob

is sex with an elephant a sin?


Fatty Gray

Dear Fatty,

We here at Skeptical Eye don't accept the concept of sin, it being so theological and all, but we do believe in objective values, and there is no question that sexual relations with Republicans is repugnant. Too bad you're not attracted to circus pachyderms, for then there would be nothing to object to in the matter of your sexual preference.

By the way, Bob is no longer with the blog; we caught him making out with Newt Gingrich and Sarah Palin, and had to let him go.

1 comment:

  1. Actually, it was by act of God (Zeus or Thor, I imagine) that my cable was knocked out.

    And sex with an elephant? No thanks, but I would take a trunk-job.


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