Friday, December 25, 2009

God Creates World, Sumerians Confused

Members of the earth's earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as God, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.


Historians believe that, immediately following the biblical event, Sumerian witnesses returned to the city of Eridu, a bustling metropolis built 1,500 years before God called for the appearance of dry land, to discuss the new development. According to records, Sumerian farmers, priests, and civic administrators were not only befuddled, but also took issue with the face of God moving across the water, saying that He scared away those who were traveling to Mesopotamia to participate in their vast and intricate trade system.


According to the cuneiform tablets, Sumerians found God's most puzzling act to be the creation from dust of the first two human beings.

"These two people made in his image do not know how to communicate, lack skills in both mathematics and farming, and have the intellectual capacity of an infant," one Sumerian philosopher wrote. "They must be the creation of a complete idiot."

Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

And more fun from the Onion News Network:

1 comment:

  1. LOL

    Did you see the story about the Jonas Brother who got married and said "sex wasn't worth the wait"?

    Regarding the post's title story: it's hard to find a creationist (on the internet anyway) who buys into the 6,000-10,000 year old, Young Earth theory. Most have moved on to a slightly more nuanced and metaphorical view, though I do routinely hear that humans walked with dinosaurs.


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