Monday, October 25, 2010

The Story of the Week: Snowflake and Barb Part 2

For part 1 of Snowflake and Barb go here

As with last week, we'll start with the opening from the ABC television series The Movie of the Week, which featured original made for T.V. movies. This time the movie is The People (1972), and like many episodes of the weekly series, was meant to be a series of its own, with this being the pilot episode. It wasn't picked up as a weekly show, and aired instead as a stand alone for The Movie of the Week. This one starred Kim Darby and William "Ham" Shatner in the story of a strange town that turned out to be the hometown of some aliens (and I don't mean the kind from south of the border).

Hmmm, sounds like I could adapt the plot for a future Story of the Week: A group of aliens from the planet Ginx invade a peaceful libertarian town that just wants to be left alone by the Federal Government, but when F.B.I. agent Bret Alan comes to investigate some odd goings on, all Hell breaks loose as the aliens form an alliance with the townspeople to fight the Feds. A revolution ensues, spreading across the United States, and states start seceding from the Monster of D.C.

Sounds like a winner to me, but in the meantime, after the video, the story of Snowflake and Barb continues...

"So," Barb said to Snowflake as they sat next to the warmth of the fire, with Barb's husband Harold sleeping only feet away on the living room sofa, "the old bastard has to die."

Snowflake was still stunned by Barb's proposal, but all she managed to say in reply was "why?"

"He's no good, honey, that's why. I never told you this before, but Harold has been involved in some rotten stuff over the years. He once kept a load of drug money that was seized when he was a deputy sheriff over in Blackstone County. He still has most of it, and I know he's got the map to where it's hid in a safe deposit box. Once he's dead, the contents of that box are mine, and we can take all that dough and start a new life for ourselves anywhere we want."

Snowflake wasn't sure she was ready to commit murder, but the idea of a load of cash was appealing. "How much money," she asked gently.

Barb thought for a moment, then said "Oh, maybe five or six hundred thousand, maybe more."

Snowflake would have fallen over, but luckily she was still on the floor.

But still, the thought of killing someone, even for that much money, just was more than she could contemplate. No price was worth selling your soul for, after all. She then told Barb matter-of-factly that she would never be able to go through with or be a part of such a scheme.

Barb looked deeply into Snowflake's eyes. "You can and you will!" she said. She was so loud she almost woke Harold up. Snowflake hadn't seen this side of Barb before, and for the for time in their lesbian relationship, she began to question what she'd gotten herself into.

"How 'bout poison," Barb was saying one morning over breakfast later that week. "Think we could get away with that? Might be risky, though. Cops are stupid, but still clever enough to figure that one out, maybe. What do you think? I'm thinking we just try and make it look like an accident and hope for the best."

Snowflake still couldn't believe the things she was hearing coming out of Barb's mouth. She was afraid to disagree, however, because now that her lover's true character had been revealed, and she knew what she was capable of, it might even mean a death sentence for her, not just Harold. She would play along for now until she could think of what to do.

Two days later, they'd settled on the plan. They would go for a hike, telling Harold it was a picnic, and even though the "lazy son of a bitch", as Barb called him, hated to exercise, he loved picnics, especially when they included Barb's homemade chocolate cake, fried chicken and potato salad. Barb even thought about poisoning the cake to make double sure of Harold's demise, but decided against it. Pushing him off a cliff would do the trick, she was sure.

Snowflake knew she had to warn Harold somehow, but she wasn't sure how to go about it. If she told him outright, he might not believe her. He might even call her crazy and tell Barb she had one hell of a crazy "cousin" living under their roof. There just has to be another way she thought. She decided to sleep on it. Besides, there were still three more days until the date of the "picnic".

When the day arrived, the weather took a turn for the worse. It looked as though the day would be a wet one, maybe too wet to have a picnic. Barb was already getting antsy. She didn't want to have to postpone the event. She was also slightly afraid she might not have the nerve to go through with it if they waited until a more inviting, sunny day. No, it would have to be today.

"Harold," she called. "Picnic time, sweetheart!"

Snowflake still couldn't believe Barb was that cold. But she realized there was no other way out of this mess than the plan she had chosen. She just hoped it would work, and that Barb didn't suspect anything was amiss.

"I've got all the food packed and ready to go. Put it in the car, will you, dear," she said to Harold when he was dressed in his ridiculous looking "picnic clothes". What a stupid old fool Barb thought as she looked at him with a fake smile on her disgusted face.

When Harold was gone, Barb said to Snowflake "Go get my hiking boots and put them in the trunk, will you? I can't hike around up there without the proper shoes."

Snowflake went to Barb's closet and found the boots, but she didn't touch them. Instead she grabbed some pumps and put them in an old Macy's bag and took them out to the car. She was a little nervous, thinking Barb might want to inspect to make sure the boots were in there, but she didn't. Instead Barb smiled and winked at her and whispered in her ear: "It won't be long now."

Got that right! Snowflake thought.

Barb was pissed when they got to the hiking area and she discovered that her boots were nowhere to be found. "What the hell?" she practically shouted. "High heels?"

Snowflake tried to look innocent. She made up an instant story about Harold grinning at her like the cat who just ate the canary, when they were still at the house, and that he'd had the bag with the shoes in his hand, as if he'd messed with the contents to just to make Barb miserable. Another one of his practical jokes, no doubt, the asshole!

"The goddamned old bastard!" she said for about the tenth time when she and Snowflake had fallen behind Harold on the trail up to the "picnic" spot. "I'll, kill him!"

Trying to suppress a smile, Snowflake asked her, "How are you getting along in those shoes."

Barb looked at her like she was insane. "What do you think? I nearly slipped back there and broke my neck!"

Harold turned and Barb gave him a phony laugh. "How are you doing, honey bun?" she asked him.

Harold frowned and turned back to the trail ahead of him.

"All right," said Barb to Snowflake. "We're almost there. We've got to do it at the highest point. Make sure the old fart really falls and cracks his idiot skull open."

As they reached the place where Harold was supposed to have his "accident", Snowflake hesitated for just an instant, then she threw her weight against Barb and sent her falling over the cliff that now was directly to the right side of the narrow trail. Barb had a look of shock on her face for a moment, then one of realization and disillusionment as she knew that Snowflake had betrayed her.

After the authorities had ruled that there was no foul play involved in Barb's "tragic" death, Snowflake and Harold found themselves alone back at the house.

"Well, I guess you'll be leaving soon," he said, that same look of longing for Snowflake still on his face.

Maybe he was just a bad old bastard, just like Barb said. She thought for a second that she'd sent the wrong person over that cliff, until she understood that he was only a horny old horn dog and didn't mean anything truly evil. Maybe he couldn't quite get it up anymore, like Barb had said. but maybe Barb was at fault for that. Maybe she just hadn't turned Harold on anymore. He really wasn't all that bad looking for an old guy.

"It's gonna be awfully lonely in this old house, now that Barb's gone, and with you probably leaving," he said to her.

"Well," she said, "I guess I should find a place of my own now. It's too bad, because you and I could have had some really good times together, if we had some money. Too bad we're both broke."

Harold took her in his arms and she let him. After they kissed he said. "You know what, I think I know where I can get some money, enough money to have those good times you're talking about. What do you say?"

"Oh, Harold," she replied, "that sounds wonderful."

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