The Randomocracy, and Other Odd Ideas

Whenever I’m out of ideas, I look to the Greeks…

My dilemma: How do you ensure that our representative democracy is truly representative and not a corrupt oligarchy?

The answer: Pick politicians randomly or somehow exclude the corrupt.

The specifics: The Athenians, for a time, chose their leaders via lottery. This ensured that the poorest citizen had equal chance to win public office as the richest. A random lottery does not discriminate.

Well… the Greek one did, because only free, native Greek males who were born in wedlock could enter the lottery. We don’t have to do it that. I would include anyone over 15, regardless of any other criteria (honestly, I don’t even count citizenship, but I don’t know how they’re supposed to be entered in a lottery if they’re undocumented… maybe they’d serve if the dead person who’s SS card they’re using gets picked…)

Another interesting method of governing used by the Greeks was to call quorums for legislation purposes and to pay the first X number of people who show up to vote on the matter. It’s sort of a first come, first serve method of lawmaking.

I don’t think this could work for a federal system like a lottery could, but it might work on the state level (especially in Delaware or Rhode Island…).

I think another interesting method would be a caste system. Okay, I lost some of you, but bear with me. We could somehow the country up into different castes. It could be random, but I like an elective system…

So how about this: we divide the country up into castes based on which Beatles album you liked the most (Revolver or die, assclowns!). Once we’re in our respective castes, we will cycle chronologically through them all, with each caste having its turn to rule with an iron fist. Then, the only thing to debate is whether One or the Love Album should be sanctioned castes…

My favorite method would be if government went online (cyberarchy). Of course, a blogger doesn’t want to get off his ass to change the world. I think I should be able to reign my tyranny on all of you from the comfort of my chair. It’s the American way, as the founders intended…

Can you imagine a government issued email that you can reply back with your vote? The only problem would be ensuring every citizen has internet access, but once the implants are mandatory…

*cue ominous music*

Okay, serious face again… I think the best system, however, would be eudemocracy: true rule by the people - specifically, the unwashed masses. I would like to see a government composed entirely of elected officials, none of whom are above the poverty line. Let’s be honest: the middle class is too busy doing real work to legislate, and the upper class has a bad track record… maybe it’s the hoi polloi’s turn.

I’ll tell you one thing: it would finally encourage us to fund education for all. And we wouldn't need welfare, since the poor could subsist on “campaign contributions.”