Sunday, July 11, 2010

Dear Mr. Skeptical

Dear "SE", or whoever you really are, are you for real? I need to know! Is this blog a joke or something? What's so "skeptical" about it anyway? Oh, and are you ever going to reveal your real name?


Need to know now

Dear Need To Know,

Why do you need to know now? Can you know later and still manage?

My real name? What's a "real" name? The name some unelected parents gave you? And then, what if your biological parental units called you a common name but decided to be "original" and spell it funny? We have a strange modern fetish for how words are spelled, something completely alien to our ancestors. This is why some parents think their idiot child will stand out if their common name is spelled like a moron wrote it. Isn't that right, Jessycka?

So, you prompt me to make a decision here, one that may disorient our regular readers. No longer will I call myself "SE". From now on let the blogging world refer to me as "Nikkolas Jakson" (the two names together have three K's in them, something that will give Ginx a field day whenever I post pro-Confederate stuff).

Is the blog a joke? Isn't everything?

What's so skeptical about Skeptical Eye, you ask? We're so skeptical that we refuse to believe you actually wrote that!

Dear Skeptical Eye

What is butter good for?


Up Yours

Dear Up,

Shove it where the Sun don't shine.

Dear SE,

My daddy shot and killed a Bigfoot, but when he got it home, he discovered it was a DEA agent dressed in a costume who was out in the woods looking for pot growers.

What should daddy do?


Son of Bigfoot Hunter

Dear Son,

Tell your daddy to find another line of work, as I don't see how Bigfoot hunting can bring home the bacon, unless he turns it into a reality show on the Syfy Channel. That way, he can "hunt" Bigfoot and never have to actually find one.

Just be thankful he didn't kill a human being. He might not be so lucky next time.

Send your skeptical questions to Nikkolas Jakson, hunter of the most dangerous monster of them all, The State!


  1. Wouldn't it be "Dear Mr. Eye?"

  2. It would be if I was as smart as you, but I'm not.

  3. You aren't as smart as me? How do you get dressed in the morning? Did you also find lead paint chips delicious? I prefer eggshell white, but forest green has a sort of minty after taste...


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