One word of caution...oh never mind, we can't caution you with just one word, except maybe...DON'T.
Dear Mr. Skeptical,
isn't "don't" two words?
signed
Billy Tattler
Dear Billy,
Isn't the first letter of the first word of a sentence capitalized?
But no, don't is a contraction of "do not", so when you put 'em together like that they become one, like a man and woman in marriage. Don't you get it? Why don't you understand that? Don't you know you're just wasting my time and my blog's time with your silly inquiries? Why don't you go away and make some more mud pies, Billy?
Dear Skep,
Wouldn't it be Dear Mr. Eye?
Signed
Bret the Blogger
Dear Bret,
No, it wouldn't, not unless we were giving out eye doctoring answers (which we should be able to, by the way, though you'd be taking our advice in that area at grave risk to your sight). We just ain't ophthalmologists, get it, Bret?
No, Mr. Skeptical is the name because we answer any question that could, by a stretch of the old imagination, fall under the "skeptical" category, and because any other idiot is just as capable as we are to provide the answers, we feel we're qualified.
Dear Mr. SE,
Is the Tea Party racist?
Signed,
Thinking about joining but I'm black...
Dear Thinking,
Of course the Tea Party is racist,
Did you ever see any African American dolls sitting around that little table with the all the stuffed animals?
My advice is to start your own Tea Party and don't invite any white people. Maybe you can call it the NAACTP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored Tea Parties).
And remember, there's nothing racist about starting an organization that only wants to advance people of a certain color, unless white people do it.
Send your questions to Skeptical Eye. They might be answered (though we doubt it) in the next startling episode!
Why not a whole line of drink themed parties? There's already the Coffee Party (which will let you in if you're black, especially if you're mulatto...).
ReplyDeleteWhat about a Soda Party? Or a Beer Party? Gay people could form the Zima Party (do they even still sell that?). I'm kind of surprised there isn't already a Green Tea Party, full of aging hippies who also hate taxes. Maybe they were the ones with signs saying "Keep You Government Hands Off My Medicare!"
I think I'd be in the Milk Party, or maybe the Orange Juice Party. I've always been a morning person, and I wouldn't mind a Breakfast Party. It's the most important party of the day!
I thought of another one: The Cognac and Fine Cigar Party. Oh wait no, we have the Republican Party already.
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