Optimist: "The glass is half-full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half-empty."
Realist: "Yep. That's a glass alright."
Idealist: "One day, cold-fusion from a glass of water will provide unlimited energy and end war."
Capitalist: "If I bottled this and gave it a New Agey sounding name, I could make a fortune."
Communist: "This drink belongs to every single one of us in equal measure."
Conspiracist: "The government is fluoridating the water for mind-control purposes."
Sexist: "This glass isn't gonna refill itself, honeybun..."
Nihilist: "The glass does not exist, and neither do I."
Opportunist: "There's a funny t-shirt in here somewhere."
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