Monday, August 10, 2009

Cork's insane weekend

Wow, did I ever have a crazy weekend. The worst case scenario of every imaginable worst case scenario!

It all started on Saturday night when I drove with three friends to a city over 50 miles away for a supposedly really good party. (The party, as it turned out, was pretty average.) When we were ready to leave, my friend's car wouldn't start. It was dead beyond repair. Not just a low battery, but completely shot. We tried bump starting it and a bunch of other stuff and none of it worked. The cherry on the top of this crap cake was that it was hailing and raining like crazy. The lightning was nonstop. One of the worst storms I've seen in some time.

Not sure what to do, I decided to call my brother to see if he could come pick us up (who also lives 50 miles away). My brother was drunk off his ass, but said he was coming and would have one of his friends drive.

By the time they finally showed up it was almost four in the morning. And they arrived just in time to see a huge fight breaking out in the middle of the street between two of my friends and several other people who were at the party. It started with a lot of cursing and trash talking, then moved on to pushing, shoving and yelling threats. Un-friggin'-real.

To make matters worse, there were four of us but only two seats in the car when it arrived (my brother came with two friends, while he was blacked out in the backseat). We eventually had everyone just jump in on each others laps and drive a few blocks away, to escape the insane fighting.

Then we realized there simply weren't enough seats. My brother's friend shrieked that she couldn't drive this way (3 people in the front, 5 in the back) without getting pulled over. To make matters worse, my brother was being a drunk, uncooperative asshole, and got in a fight (only verbal thank god) with my friend.

Finally, my friend and I got out of the car and said we would just stay stranded in this city until morning so they could go home. So we were now homeless in some bizarre city in the middle of the night! LOL! And without any plan whatsoever.

We wandered aimlessly, wondering if there was some place we could sleep outdoors (on a park bench or under a tree or something). Unfortunately everything was sopping wet, and we didn't want to be woken up by police or thrown in detox.

We came across a 7-11 at around five in the morning. I walked in and asked if there were any hotels around. The clerk told us there were some a few blocks away, but warned that we were in a dangerous area "this time of night."

We found the block of hotels, but most of them were either full or closed. Finally we found one that would accept us, and got just a few hours of sleep before having to wake up and check out.

In the morning we ate breakfast at a diner, while I called one of my best friends to come get us. He was happy to do so.

Such is the typical weekend in my world.


  1. Sorry pal, but only a silly cunt would brag about that night.

  2. Yup, telling a story is "bragging."

    And your insults are devastating. Next time I'll think twice before pissing off a MENSA member.

  3. Really, Punch? You think that's bragging? I think that you are, in fact, the silly cunt.
    Cork was simply sharing their horrific weekend with us, and I dunno about everyone else...but it made my weekend look 100 times better! So thank you Cork!


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