Thursday, November 4, 2010

"One Vegan Kid's Meal with the Politically Correct Toy"

"Mommy, can we go to McDonalds, I want a Happy Meal."

"Sure, sweetie. Do you want the McSoy Burger with a side of black beans or the baked McTofu nuggets with brown rice?"

Later, in the car...

"Yuck! Mommy I hate this food!"

"Honey, Mommy is driving. Just eat it, it's good for you, and besides, it's what the government wants you to eat, and you know, just like they teach you in public school, that the government is there to protect you and tell you what's best for you."

"Ah, mommy..."

"How about your little brother. Is he eating his McSoy jr. with soy cheese burger?"

"No, mommy, he threw his out the window."

"Billy, you should have eaten that. Don't you want to be healthy and thin, like the San Fransisco supervisors want you to be?"

"Oh, mommy! My Fidel Castro action figure Happy Meal toy's head just came off!"

"Sweetie, that's because they don't make them out of plastic anymore. They're made out of pressed soy and corn because plastic is petroleum based and you know what that means"

"Yes, mommy, I know, cause they taught us in school. It means a giant carbon footprint."

"Good girl! Hey, where's your brother's Hugo Chavez action figure?"

"He ate it. He said it tasted better than the burger."

The above scenario is a dramatization of the future in San Fransicko. I'm wondering though why they don't also pass a ban there on fast food drive-thru windows. If they're fighting obesity and unhealthy food choices, why stop with the laws? And drive-thrus make it so much easier to be lazy and order bad food while sitting on your lazy ass in your car. We should also be discouraging the use of cars and the idle time they're sitting waiting in line during lunch hour. Think of all the extra gas being used, the extra emissions being spewed into the air!

SAN FRANCISCO — For some veggies-hating children, Happy Meals won't be so happy anymore.

City lawmakers on Tuesday approved legislation that they hope will force fast-food chains such as McDonald's to make their children's meals healthier or stop selling them with toys. -SF supervisors pass 'Happy Meal' regulations

A McDonald's owner pointed out that such a law will be easily bypassed as people can drive a mile outside city limits to get a real Happy Meal. Of course the solution to that is to get more laws passed in other cities:

Supervisors and activists who support the measure said they hoped efforts like this would make San Francisco the first major city to take this action to curb childhood obesity, perhaps starting a trend that would spread to other cities, states and the country.

And the country! Yes, that's what we need! A national law that will force people on the border to cross into Mexico where Happy Meals are still legal, or to end up supporting the new Mexican Happy Meal cartel gangs that will be willing to supply Americans with all the traditional illicit and dangerous to kid's health Happy Meals they want, for a price!


  1. I think your premise has the fundamentally fatal flaw when you try to argue that kids will miss how Happy Meals used to taste. You really can't make something taste worse than a Happy Meal if you tried.

  2. Black bean burger with brown rice sounds tasty... my kids actually like healthy food (at least 2 out of three).

    The problem with a position like this is that often the antagonist ends up attacking "healthy food" - a position that cannot withstand logical review.

    The other side ends up attacking "freedom of choice" an equally unstable position for an antagonist as it also cannot withstand logical review.

    In the process of calming down and having a rational debate about an issue like this the whores in government are reviewing the weight of the popularity of a new law v. the various contributions by agribusiness, PACs, and the desire to add power to the already bloated statist power structure...

    We all end up with "all stick" and the "carrot" was divided up by the oligarchy...

    The answer is clear - pitchforks - the result sadly will be worse for every individual - in the sort run - and the typical US troglodyte is incapable of planning past the next football game on TV...

    Result, continual decline into oppressive statism and financial ruin as the oligarchy continues to empty the coffers.

  3. They can all go fuck themselves.


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