Friday, January 21, 2011

Dear Mr. Skeptical (episode 11)

Dear Mr Skepticals


I don't know what your getting at. What's it all about?

signed

Don't Know

Dear Mr. Don'ts

It's all about a land called Honah Lee. You see, Puffing the magic dragon means...oh, come on, you're pulling my leg, you do to know what it means!



Dear "Mr. Skeptical"

How come you post under the name Nikk? Shouldn't' this be called Dear Mr. Nikk?

Signed

Who are you?


Dear "Who"

My name is Jason Longwood Skeptical, but my friends just call me Mr. Skeptical. About a year ago, I fell into a well while crossing the Old Jakson Farm on my way to a duel. My dueling gun went off when I fell and shot me in the leg, further impeding my ability to climb out of the hole I'd fallen in to. I was down there for days, subsisting on locusts and honey. I was losing hope of ever getting out and seeing the world again, when all of a sudden I hear a lunatic ranting about someone called Bret Alan. What the hell, I thought? I yelled at the top of my lungs, but when that didn't get the attention of the crazy man screaming obscenities about this Bret fellow and how this Bret was a fucking asshole, I used all of my lungs, the bottoms too, and it worked. A wild, insane face appeared at the top of the well. This, I would soon learn, was the face of Nikkolas S. Jakson, and as I would soon discover, he was not crazy at all, but the most rational, intelligent, kind and decent person I'd ever met. He immediately got some rope and pulled me out. I was so grateful I promised him I would do whatever I could to repay him. He mentioned his fantastic blog, Skeptical Eye, and the rest is history. I told him, however, that I was not interested in fame or fortune, and I would write for him just under my last name and he could post my work under his own name, as has been the case since I began answering questions here.

I hope that clears the matter up. And thanks again to Nikk J, the greatest human to ever walk the earth (after Jesus).



Dear Mr. S

Where do you get your ideas?

signed,


Mr Idea


Holy hell! Thanks Mr. Idea for reminding me! I plum forgot to place my order with you this month! I'll get that check in the mail pronto! And please don't be late with the next batch of ideas this time!

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