Walmart, Target and Me

I informed my girlfriend that I would be stopping at Walmart on my way home. There was something I needed to pick up. Though there is always something I need to pick up, there is also always something in the store that I DON'T need to get but get anyway. But I was focused this time, and once inside I headed straight for the shaving equipment. I lost my embarrassing-hair trimmer a few days ago, one of those unexplained disappearances that deserves its own edition of Unsolved Mysteries, with the result that that embarrassing hair was actually becoming embarrassing, so embarrassing that I thought for a moment of buying my item at the self-check out lane (thank you Walmart for being non-union; you don't cave to union demands to remove automated check-out devices the way one supermarket I know of did).

After throwing a couple of .88 frozen dinners into the cart (yeah, they only superficially resemble food, but they're cheap) I went to get the thing I'd come in for. In the shaving aisle I encountered a moron getting advice about deodorant from the two-year-old in his cart ("here, smell this one, what do you think?") and looked for the cheapo hair trimmer thing. Nowhere! It has to be here. Wouldn't you know it, it was behind Moron all the time. Thank God the kid finally made a decision (two-year-olds are such discriminating deodorant-scent aficionados).

But wait, what was this? A locked glass case for items less than ten bucks. I thought Walfart was no longer worried about petty theft. I was staring right at my embarrassment reliever, the price an enticing nine dollars and change, and it was in so-close-but-yet-so-far territory. Naturally, this being Walmart, customer service is zilch, and there was no one around to open the damn case. Even if I had gone to the front of the store for assistance, it would probably have taken 30 minutes for someone to appear in the personal grooming section. And then the thought struck me, as it has so many times before there is a Target in this shopping mall.

At Target I found what I was looking for, right out among the other unlocked items, and for a dollar less than Walmart (in spite of all those signs proclaiming Unbeatable Prices).

At home, after dynamiting the blister pack open, I went to work on making myself presentable for work once again.

If you were looking for a point to this story, there isn't one, unless it's make sure to keep spare trimmers around in the event of mysterious supernatural vanishings (George Noory, call me), or at least make sure you have a Target close to your favorite Walmart.