I Love Walmart!

I've written a few anti-Walmart posts in the past, and I still don't think they treat their employees well, but damn, you gotta love Walmart anyway.

In another recent post, I said it might not be a bad idea to take our money away from the banksters. Well, last night around 8PM (and isn't it great that you can take care of financial matters after bankster hours) I decided to take my paycheck to try out Walmart's check cashing. Why let the bankster criminals get their hands on it for any length of time, I thought as I walked to the front of the line at the customer service counter inside the big store.

I just told them I was there to cash my check, and quickly and efficiently I had hundred dollar bills in my hand, and the cost was a mere flat three dollars. I just had to show ID and punch in my social, but it was nice to be able to quickly and easily bypass the criminal and statist bankster network.

After that I put the bulk of my funds away and took a few dollars to do some shopping. As I went up and down the aisles of merchandise, I noticed that prices had indeed "rolled back" on many items, including a 32oz jar of mayonnaise which was under 2 dollars. I got that and some more Oscar Meyer hot dogs for a buck fifty a package, and then picked up a box of Trisciuts for under two dollars as well ( a rollback of a dollar on the previous price).

I went away happy and very satisfied, my mood lifted by the greatness of the private sector, the occasion only marred by my awareness of the contrast with government and its evil bankster accomplices.

Walmart, Target and Me

I informed my girlfriend that I would be stopping at Walmart on my way home. There was something I needed to pick up. Though there is always something I need to pick up, there is also always something in the store that I DON'T need to get but get anyway. But I was focused this time, and once inside I headed straight for the shaving equipment. I lost my embarrassing-hair trimmer a few days ago, one of those unexplained disappearances that deserves its own edition of Unsolved Mysteries, with the result that that embarrassing hair was actually becoming embarrassing, so embarrassing that I thought for a moment of buying my item at the self-check out lane (thank you Walmart for being non-union; you don't cave to union demands to remove automated check-out devices the way one supermarket I know of did).

After throwing a couple of .88 frozen dinners into the cart (yeah, they only superficially resemble food, but they're cheap) I went to get the thing I'd come in for. In the shaving aisle I encountered a moron getting advice about deodorant from the two-year-old in his cart ("here, smell this one, what do you think?") and looked for the cheapo hair trimmer thing. Nowhere! It has to be here. Wouldn't you know it, it was behind Moron all the time. Thank God the kid finally made a decision (two-year-olds are such discriminating deodorant-scent aficionados).

But wait, what was this? A locked glass case for items less than ten bucks. I thought Walfart was no longer worried about petty theft. I was staring right at my embarrassment reliever, the price an enticing nine dollars and change, and it was in so-close-but-yet-so-far territory. Naturally, this being Walmart, customer service is zilch, and there was no one around to open the damn case. Even if I had gone to the front of the store for assistance, it would probably have taken 30 minutes for someone to appear in the personal grooming section. And then the thought struck me, as it has so many times before there is a Target in this shopping mall.

At Target I found what I was looking for, right out among the other unlocked items, and for a dollar less than Walmart (in spite of all those signs proclaiming Unbeatable Prices).

At home, after dynamiting the blister pack open, I went to work on making myself presentable for work once again.

If you were looking for a point to this story, there isn't one, unless it's make sure to keep spare trimmers around in the event of mysterious supernatural vanishings (George Noory, call me), or at least make sure you have a Target close to your favorite Walmart.

Walmart Loves You

Walmart "loves" you, this I know, for the Supercenters tell me so.

Whenever I enter through those automatic sliding glass doors I'm feeling pretty darn good. Almost happy sometimes just to be there and see all that abundance. It's an abundance that you'll never find under any form of real socialism (socialism, that is, that does not act parasitically on free markets to "spread the wealth", as in some so-called "socialist" countries in Western Europe) and that can only exist under what I'm still going to call capitalism.

I don't have a "Supercenter" (a giant Walmart that sells a full line of groceries as well as the usual general merchandise you find at all Walmarts) near the home where I spend most of the week, so I only get to visit a super Walmart about once a week. This week I could only purchase a few items (but then, due to my previous Walmart excursions, I currently have enough of all the other things I need) and one of those on my list was soda. It's very hot right now, and I don't have air conditioning at one home and we only use it in a limited fashion at the other home, so I have to have some cold soda pop in the fridge (mostly various diet sodas) at all times. I know water is better for you, and I do drink a lot of it when the weather is this warm and, yes, I drink it in bottled form ("Horrors!" I can hear the enviro-nuts scream) but I also still want something sweet and bubbling to cool me down too. Thus my constant quest these past few weeks to seek out and acquire the best tasting, most flavorful and positively thirst-quenching carbonated drinks on the market.

One of the first displays I saw was for Walmart's house brand Sam's Choice soda. They were selling six packs for one dollar (and no additional CRV fee like in Commie Califorina!) and even though I don't drink many regular sodas containing the dreaded HFCS, I put a couple in my cart. A heavyset gentleman came up with his own cart and asked me if they were really selling these for just a buck and I said yes. He started loading up with one of each variety offered. He couldn't find any root beer though, and boy, did he want root beer. He circled the display several times, lifting six packs right and left in his vain search, but no root beer was to be found. "Need some root beer too," he said.

He headed off in the same direction I did, to the soda and water aisle. He actually did find the Sam's Choice Root Beer in six packs there, also of course for only a dollar. I myself added a root beer to my cart, but also several 12 packs of diet soda.

The thing about Walmart is, you can have pretty much everything you see that you want on a given trip because things are at prices you can actually afford. This is why I have no Supercenters near my other home, the unions and the big supermarket chains have kept them out through local government rules on "big box" stores and laws limiting how many square feet can be devoted to food in a store that sells more than just groceries.

I had a short discussion the other day with a black woman from North Carolina who started in on Walmart. "I hates the Waltons!" she proclaimed loudly. "I hates Walmart and how they treat people. I from Detroit where they make the cars, and thanks to the unions people make decent money working, not like at Walmart." Yes, and look what happened to the American auto companies.

Forget all that nonsense about Walmart being evil. The truth is Walmart "loves" you. They love your business, sure, but they also love you inadvertently, by giving you what you want at prices you can pay. I know the difference every time I enter a regular supermarket and find myself unable to add some things to the old grocery cart that I want because the prices are so high.

The heavyset guy passed me a bit later, his cart full, and said to me with a big grin on his face, "Take care, have a good day!" He was happy and obviously was returning the love to Walmart and its other beneficiaries.

So thank you, Walmart. I love you too!