Thursday, June 9, 2011

Democrats, and Why I Hate Them

In the interest of time, I am doing zero research for this post. Some of you may think this is my standard practice, but I can assure you it isn’t. However, as this is a matter of analyzing my opinion and impressions of Democrats, there are no outside sources for me to consult. I know how I feel about them, and why, without any need to be reminded.

I hate the Democratic Party. Now, hate is a strong word. I think that you can never really hate someone (or something) until you get to know them. To really hate them, to have someone really get under your skin and occupy your thoughts in a meaningful way, some level of intimacy is necessary. So, not only do I hate the Democratic Party, I am fairly familiar with it.

Most people I know who hate the Democratic party (and by extension, Democrats) know very little about Democrats. I find Republicans especially perplexing here, because Democrats are essentially politicians who govern in the manner Republican politicians say they will govern during a campaign.

For those who need a reminder, Republicans claim to be fiscally responsible, tough on terrorism, and pro-business. They are none of those three things, especially compared to Democrats over the last 30 years.

But do not fall into the false dichotomy presented by the two-party system; just because Democrats govern in a manner more in line with the average person’s opinion in America does not mean most people are, or should be, “Democrats.” While I think it’s a no-brainer to point out that Democrats govern better than Republicans, this speaks more to the utter incompetence of the Republican Party than to any merit the Democratic Party may possess.

Sometimes, it helps me to think of things in terms of how I imagine them to line up in a sequence of progress. If one uses other countries that outperform the US as a benchmark, one can analyze the policies of Republicans, the policies of Democrats, and the history of successful policies in whatever foreign nation one wishes to compare. The result is a sort of purely subjective opinion on where the two parties stand on the timeline of history.

In my view, Democrats are anywhere from 10 to 50 years behind most successful industrialized nations, as far as policy is concerned. Republicans are generally two to five hundred years behind.

This shouldn’t be about bashing Republicans, however, because even if Republicans were ten thousand years behind (though I’m not sure how this would be possible, since many of them think the Earth isn’t even that old), progress does not depend on those who oppose it.

Or at least, it shouldn’t.

One of the primary problems I have with Democrats is that they are all pussies. What’s more, rather than address the problem of how spineless they are, they would rather blab your ear off about how “pussy” is offensive to women. Etymologically speaking, who should really be insulted are cats, because “pussy” derives from the animal in both cases (much “fraidy cat”). If I were a cat, I would be a little pissed off at being compared to Democrats, and I apologize to all felines.

Democrats have allowed the regressives the power to define the debate, and in the process have quashed liberalism in American government. Not that Democrats proudly hold the torch for liberalism, but they have begrudgingly adopted liberal voters since the 60’s without so much as even paying progressivism any lip service while in office.

Just about the only time I ever hear liberal ideas in American politics is on the campaign trail, when Democrats let Republicans borrow conservatism just in time for the election.

Though thinking about it, there are some liberals in congress, and it’s interesting to see what has happened to them. They have largely been labeled as the “kooks” and “nut balls” (that last one being testicularly redundant, in my opinion). Dennis Kucinich comes to mind, as does Bernie Sanders. Even Ron Paul has very liberal view on some matters.

One and all, the liberals who have been elected (seemingly against all odds) are dismissed from the public debate. What’s most disconcerting is that they are not dismissed for inconsequential things like sex scandals or their appearance, but for their liberal views. Sure, Dennis Kucinich has gotten weird questions about UFOs, and I don’t personally like Ron Paul for some of his views (like his opposition to abortion, or his belief in the fallacy that a deregulated market is the same as a free market), but the general opinion among most Americans is that each is “too extreme.”

Regarding Bernie Sanders, most Americans say, “Who?” However, they have no trouble identifying any of fifty thousand different celebrities. Go figure.

I suppose in a world gone mad, a high level of sanity may be “too extreme.” I’m not so cynical that I believe that to be the case, but I’m not so optimistic that I would laugh it off devoid of some truth. But getting back to why I don’t support Democrats, it largely boils down to what is at the core of my views.

I don’t believe in joining a gang, whether it’s a street gang, fraternity, club, action committee, team, party, religion, philosophy, ideology, or really any group. They’re pretty much all gangs to me, and I would actually trust a real gang of drug dealing thugs before I would trust some of those other groups (a thug can only take your wallet and your life, while a religion can steal your soul).

I hold views that are liberal and I don’t object aggressively to being called a liberal (I may even lazily label myself as such from time to time), but I’m not a card-carrying member of anything, nor do I take my lead from any group or individual. Quite often I find myself standing alone on a particular issue, though I usually find myself pointed in the same general direction as liberals. But ultimately, I don’t feel any camaraderie with them.

In fact, the only liberal I usually feel I have anything in common with is my wife. She is undeniably liberal; she openly claims to be and I think it’s fair to say she more closely falls in line with traditional liberal views (not in the classical sense). Still, we are quite close on most political views, with only a few exceptions.

What puts her over the top is that she openly applies the “liberal” moniker to herself and she votes Democrat. Nothing screams “liberal” like voting Democrat. Note that nearly no Democratic politician is liberal, but this is beside the point. And while I have had an effect on her opinions and she claims to have had an effect on mine (though I don’t see it), we remain distinct individuals who ultimately have different views.

Ultimately, I am presented with a chicken/egg dilemma regarding the Democratic Party: do they fail because they are bad leaders, or are they bad leaders because they failed? Or, perhaps more importantly: are Democratic politicians horrible negotiators, or are they liars?

Sometimes it seems like Democrats couldn’t get Republicans to vote that Ronald Reagan was a great president, so long as it was proposed by a Democrat. And yet, Republicans routinely get Democrats to support Republican measures. Is this just better bargaining and negotiation on the part of Republicans?

As is my general policy, I reserve crediting Republicans with a success until I check all other reasonable possibilities. And sure enough, it become plainly obvious that Democrats are not being turned by the masterful rhetoric of the right, but by the purses of private interests in the business world.

I am of the opinion that Democrats willfully lie about their intentions when running for office, presenting themselves as more liberal than they truly are. This is depressing, because I am not even enthusiastic about the empty claims of Democratic campaigns.

What I’m looking for isn’t what most Democrats publicly promise, but is closer to what Fox News scares its viewers into believing to be the plans of Democrats: a hyperbolically socialist world (not the US alone, but everyone together), where predatory business practices are punished more severely than drug use.

And so I dream. I dream of a world where people are the masters of their own destiny. I dream of a world where everyone has an opportunity to succeed. I dream of a world where privilege is replaced with competition, where the successful lend a hand to those who fail, and where second chances are not just for a few immigrants, but for every American or hardworking individual who aspires to be American.

My name is Bret Alan, and I am never running for public office.

Gimme a second to climb off this high-horse here…

Those aren’t just frivolous ideals which cannot be achieved. We live in a world where America is no longer on the cutting edge. Other nations have gone out into uncharted territory, and they can teach us of their successes and failures. It is not a matter of “trying something new” or “being too extreme.” We already are extreme: extremely behind, and extremely wrong. None of what liberals are suggesting is new; it has all been done with unequivocal success. When it comes to entering the 21st century, America has he means but lacks the will.

And ultimately, there is only one political party I blame this on… and it’s not Republicans.


  1. Yeah, it wasn't a video or a short confirmation of the conservative doomsday obsession. Sorry, here's a ball to play with while the adults are talking. See, it bounces...


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