Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Everyday Idiots

There are many everyday idiots out there who seem to only exist in order to test me.  These are people who do stupid things, things which are obviously stupid, in their everyday lives which in turn cause misery on the rest of us competents.  And while their annoyances are miniscule, they add up to a thousand cuts of sheer insanity over time.

The first kind of idiot is the person who does not use a turn signal at a four-way stop intersection.  We all have to stop there and indicate where we are going.  Hell, I’ve seen most illiterate Mexicans get this right, so if you are unable to wrap your head about this concept, then how are you still breathing?

These kind of drivers are usually self-important morons too.  You can usually identify them by the luxury automobile they are driving, which they probably are leasing at $600 a month.  I mean, sure it is a nice car, but you have leased it and leasing a car is worse than financing it.  Which makes you an even bigger idiot.

Another idiot I frequently encounter is unknown to me.  This idiot may not even exist in any known form of matter as we understand it.  But I always see the clues to their existence.  You see, in the men’s bathroom at my job, I see paper hand towels discarded on the floor almost all the time.  The funny thing is, the trash can is under the automated hand towel dispenser, so you should be able to get it in there without too much trouble.  Do you have a problem with depth perception?  Or did you black out on the day your parents taught you to throw out your tissues?

This brings me to an even bigger idiot (if that were possible) who lurks in the bathroom at my job: the guy who drops paper towels at the door after using it to open the door.  I understand that you are a germophobe and that you are worried about getting some nasty disease from someone else’s excrement, but seriously, do you have to leave your infectious hand towels on the floor by the door?  Do you want to get rid of the janitors by getting them to pick up your disease ridden trash like how we got rid of American Indians by giving them disease ridden blankets?  The janitor is there to change the trash bag and clean up the floors, not pick up after your lazy ass.

And so we get to other kinds of littering idiots, who remain hidden from me.  Now, not all trash you find on the street is because of litterbugs, as sometimes the wind just blows it there from an overflowing trashcan.  But those of you who do litter are nothing but idiots.  For some reason, you could not hold on to your trash for five minutes while you looked for a trashcan?  Or do you just hate the place you are at that much?  I remember when the big unions protested in DC and left the various monuments and memorials littered with their garbage.  Talk about idiots congregating into a single location.

Also, who are these idiots who leave chewed gum on the ground and under things?  There should be plenty of places where you can get rid of that filthy piece of your mouth and you could not wait for whatever reason.  Now you have infected the world with whatever shit was in your mouth.

Sometimes I encounter a bicyclist on the road while I drive to or from work.  Now, I am sure you are doing it because you like riding your bicycle, but you blatant disregard for traffic safety is astounding.  You cannot seem to understand that you are suppose to obey the laws that all motorists have to follow when it comes travelling on roads and yet if I were to hit you, I would be liable because I am suppose to pay attention to you?

Other idiots come out when it rains.  They drive a gray car, which blends in with the color of the environment when it rains, and refuse to turn on their headlights so we can see you better.  I have actually observed traffic on the road and noticed that most of the people who have their headlights off in a rain storm are driving a gray car.  Yet everyone else who is driving seems to have realized that when it rains, other people cannot see them and could crash into them, so they turn their headlights on.  But not you gray car owners out there.  No, we are suppose to know that you are around and need no help from you identifying where you are.

But I have yet to really do anything about it.  I guess that is because there is really nothing I can do, except bitch about it.  Idiots are going to be idiots, no matter what you do.  And you cannot reprogram a doorknob.

1 comment:

  1. I know somebody who hit a bicyclist at an intersection where the biker ran a red light. The biker was at fault in that case, but maybe state laws are different around the country. There should be signs saying, "Bikes are vehicles and must obey vehicle laws" under those "Share the Road" signs.


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