Sunday, June 19, 2011

Soda Pop In The Shopping Cart

I don't know anymore what do to with my giant 12 and 24 packs of soda when I get to the check out lane at the supermarket.

If I'm at Walmart and I attempt to heft the soda onto the conveyor belt, I get screams from the cashier to "Leave it in the cart!" Then she (usually a she) comes around with the scanner thingamajig to scan it while it remains in the cart. So, I've gotten used to skinny, weak cashiers who can't lift anything more than a few ounces to save their life. Thus, when I went to another market last week, I left my soda in the shopping cart. True, the woman cashier looked bigger than most men, but hey, I know the policy. LEAVE BIG HEFTY ITEMS IN THE CART, FOOL!

Now, in fatso America, nearly every shopping cart I see in the stores has at least one, but usually two or more 12 or 24 packs of soda in it. So it was no surprise when the couple behind me also had some soda in their cart. But, what the hell? They were putting it up on the belt! Idiots! Man, I didn't want to be them when they had to face Big Bertha at the register. Boy, were they ever gonna get chewed out!

I smiled at BIG B as I got my wallet out and she began to scan my items. "Oh, and I've got a Pepsi and a 7-Up in the cart," I told her. I smiled again but for some puzzling reason she wasn't smiling back.


The couple behind me gave me a look that said "moron!"

I reached into the cart, using both hands and straining my weak back (Bertha looked as if she could have lifted it with just one pinky finger) and lifted the sodas onto the counter.

I left the store dazed and confused and realizing I now had the excuse I needed to stop drinking soda. I was obviously damned if I did and damned if I didn't leave my soda in my shopping cart, so the solution hit me in the face like a banana cream pie. I would just stop buying it.

Yeah, sure.

I should add that I no longer buy ANY soda with HFCS in it (in spite of the propaganda campaign by the corn lobby that their deadly poison is no different from regular cane and beet sugar and should be called by the ridiculous and deceptive name "corn sugar"). No, as you can see from the photo above, I buy soda pop with REAL sugar in it! Thanks Pepsi for continuing with your "Throwback" versions (you should switch all your non-diet soda to sugar) and hey, now 7-Up has done it too with what they're calling "Retro" 7-Up. This is a trend I could definitely live with (where are you Coca-Cola, out to lunch?)...if it wasn't for Big Bertha and her cashier friends.

1 comment:

  1. I think 7-Up did it to compete with Sierra Mist, which now always uses sugar (in case you were interested).

    Also, if you look around Easter for yellow capped Coca-Cola, they make Coke with sugar for Passover sometimes. Also, the Spanish section of the store may have Coca-Cola and Sprite with sugar.

    As for how to handle it at check out... I usually put them on the bottom rack of the cart with the bar code up so they're easy to scan. Sometimes I get lucky and they don't even notice them down there... so free soda.


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