Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Romney Scores Double Victory

Romney has pulled off the predictable by winning his home state of Michigan. Combined with his win in Arizona, he has the all-important “momentum” going into Super Tuesday. While you may hear from other sources that it’s still up in the air, it’s pretty well wrapped up.

Romney has been waiting for next week since 2008. He’s been preparing, campaigning, glad-handing, stumping, and, perhaps most importantly, eating more hot dogs than anyone who makes that much money ever has before. Given tonight’s results, you can expect either Gingrich (my pick), Santorum, or both to drop out sometime after Super Tuesday.

All the big stories came out of Michigan. Arizona may as well have not even happened, and for this reason, I won’t even mention it again.

Santorum apparently paid for robocalls to registered Democrats that encouraged them to vote Santorum, since the Michigan primary was open to anyone of any political affiliation. Perhaps not realizing it, many Democrats were already doing this, because most people who are paying attention realized that Santorum is completely and utterly unelectable. A vote for Santorum is a vote for Obama’s re-election, in a sense.

In response, Mitt Romney took offense at this… even though in the past, he has publicly admitted to voting in Democrat primaries against candidates he didn’t like. Add it to the ever-growing list of Romney flip-flops.

Many people may have realized the campaigns took a decidedly social turn these past few weeks, and this is largely because the economy has begun turning around. Sure, you still have stalwart conservatives trying their best to spin the recovery…

“… unemployment isn’t REALLY down…”

“… the deficit, blah blah blah…”

“… gas prices are still high…”

… but ultimately, the same numbers Republicans and Fox News were using to condemn Obama are showing he turned things around, so they decided it was best to start focusing on the bigotries of Republicans at a time like this, because Republicans hate them some faggots and bitches regardless of what the DOW is doing.

What I don’t think they realize, however, is that everything they say is being recorded and televised. Those “debates” aren’t just for the benefit of an audience of Republican psychopaths who cheer the idea of making rape victims keep their attacker’s child. Everyone is hearing what they’re saying, and the overwhelming majority are basically only thinking about one thing when watching the Republican campaigns:

“Damn it… I can’t believe I am going to vote for Obama again.”

I promised an announcement for Super Tuesday, and if you know anything about how predictable I am, then I’m sure you already guessed I’ll be live-blogging the results of Super Tuesday. And yes, you can expect me to do the same thing this November for the general election, and maybe for a few Olympic events (I’m a sucker for women’s beach volleyball).

I’ll begin blogging around 9pm, and I won’t quit until the last state’s results come in… or I get tired, whichever happens first. I would like to promise to stick around, but Alaska is notoriously disorganized and is way behind my time zone (I’m in Eastern). I think I can confidently promise to blog until all-but-Alaska are done, but again… Iowa’s final results didn’t come in until weeks later, so I can’t rely on Republicans to get their shit together and be done in a reasonable amount of time.

Still, I will stay up late and keep you updated on all races as they come in. I will have a different format to my post than I do during the State of the Union, namely, I will have the states listed at the top of the post with the results being updated as I get them, and any interesting tidbits I find will be added into a special notes section underneath all the results. The notes may be organized by state, but I have a feeling that won’t be necessary, as it’s likely that many states will be predictable and uneventful, like… the other state that had a primary today besides Michigan which shall not be mentioned.

Hope to see you online with us next Tuesday.

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