Wednesday, May 4, 2011

How Ideologies and Isms Blow

Conservatism: Change blows

Liberalism: This blows

Anarchism: Government blows

Republicanism: Poor people blow

Democrats: We blow

Libertarianism: Let people blow

Tea Party: Obama blows

Feminism: Men blow

Chauvinism: Blow me

Environmentalism: Let’s blow dolphins

Nationalism: Every country but ours blows

Fascism: Blow this way, or else

Communism: Let’s all blow together

Capitalism: I’ll blow you for 20 bucks

Socialism: The government will help you blow

Atheism: Religion blows

Christianity: You are forgiven for blowing

Judaism: We’ve been chosen to blow

Islam: We will blow you up

Hinduism: Maybe you’ll blow less in your next life

Buddhism: Blowing is inevitable, and leads to suffering

Taoism: Seek balance between blowing and sucking

Scientology: For $100, we’ll tell you how much you blow

Rastafarianism: Blow some of that this way

Confucianism: Blow nose with no hankie, take matter into own hands

Determinism: It was bound to blow

Empiricism: I’ve seen how much things blow

Euthanasia: Make it stop blowing

Fatalism: It blows, but what can you do?

Functionalism: Everything blows for a reason

Hedonism: If it feels good, blow it

Nihilism: Everything blows

Realism: Let’s be honest, this blows

Pessimism: Looks like this is going to blow

Optimism: Maybe it won’t blow

Rationalism: This blows for many reasons

Modernism: Let’s make things blow less

Postmodernism: We don’t know for sure whether this blows

Racism: Our people inherently don’t blow

Self-Determinism: Each of us determines how much we blow

Astrology: Venus entered the 4th house, and you blow

Stoicism: Everything blows, but I’m okay with it

Pragmatism: I’ve found this way blows a little less

Alcoholism: Step out of the car and blow into this

Altruism: I blow others before I get blown

Anachronism: Thou doth blow

Aphorism: Life blows, then you die

Astigmatism: Getting old blows

Bilingualism: J'ai mon moucher dans votre direction générale

Bureaucratism: See box 8 of form 10D37 for your blow ID#

Democracy: Cast a vote for who will blow

Centrism: I don’t want to blow one way or the other

Commercialism: You won’t blow if you buy this car

Consumerism: I was blown in bulk for half price

Creationism: God blew life into dirt

Evolution: We have adapted to how much this blows

Criticism: That blows

Cronyism: Sure, they blow, but they’re my friends

Cynicism: The only thing I’m sure of is that everything blows

Dogmatism: This is precisely how you should blow

Dwarfism: Mocking a medical condition? Low blow

Egocentrism: I wish I could blow myself

Elitism: In grad school, I blew someone famous

Entrepreneurialism: I help create blow jobs

Eroticism: Just me and my blow up doll

Escapism: I am just blown away by the new iPhone

Exhibitionism: Watch me blow

Fanaticism: Fox News says that blows

Charlie Sheenism: Need more blow

Hipsterism: Pfft, blow is so 2010

Hypnotism: I suggest you blow me when I snap my fingers

Idealism: It doesn’t have to blow

Individualism: To each their blown

Intellectualism: I blow, therefore I am

Militarism: It’s about to blow to be you

Multiculturalism: Can’t we all just blow together?

Mutualism: I’ll blow you if you blow me

Narcissism: Isn’t it amazing how I blow?

Nepotism: Do you even know who my dad blew?

Neuroticism: I can’t enjoy being blown

Nudism: Just blowin’ in the breeze

Ostracism: Go blow elsewhere

Pacifism: I’ll blow you if you don’t hit me

Perfectionism: I’ve spent an hour on this list, but it still blows

Philistinism: Books blow

Pugilism: So, it’s come to blows…

Satanism: God blows

Survivalism: Things are going to blow, but I’m ready

Symbolism: The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind

Evangelism: Jesus Christ died for how much you blow

Televangelism: If your life blows, send money

Terrorism: I need to get blown

Tourism: It doesn’t blow like this back home

Vegetarianism: I blow people for protein

1 comment:

  1. I tried to blow myself, still practicing.

    A for effort on this one, kind of like my self-blow attempts.


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