I'm Going To Stay Dirty

..at least for the next couple days. I was procrastinating about taking a shower, and you should never procrastinate about that, unless there is what seems a good reason, and there was, sort of, as I had the day off from work. I had nothing particular to do yesterday, but I did plan on going out to the garage and looking through some boxes of books. So, after a lazy morning and as noon started to recede, I got myself in the mood and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Nothing like a nice warm shower to make me feel better.

Mostly I just hate feeling dirty, and can't stand it if I go even a day without washing my hair. So there I was waiting for the water to get hot (it usually takes at least a few seconds) and as I waited it occurred to me that it wasn't getting warmer, in fact, it was actually getting colder. Did I turn the knob the wrong way by mistake? No, but I made sure I then turned it all the way to SUPER HOT. I waited another minute, exposing myself to hypothermia, and then turned the water off and got out and put my clothes back on.

This looked like a job for Water Heater Man! Which unfortunately was me. I had to go outside and around to the side of the house (and fight my way through a jungle of weeds with a machete) to reach the door to the water heater. Once there and inside the tiny water heater room (which had once been occupied by a stray cat and her litter of kittens) I got to work, which in this case consisted of getting down low and peering through a tiny window where a pilot light should have been visible but was not.

What to do? Follow the instructions on the side of the tank, naturally. Okay, there was a reset button and an igniter switch and I'm supposed to turn a dial to "pilot" before pressing anything, but the dial won't turn far enough clockwise. I started pressing buttons anyway, but no pilot light reignited.

I looked the outside of the tank over and discovered that there was a six year warranty. When I called the manufacturer I was ready for a water heater emergency response team to come to our aid as soon as I informed them that the warranty was still good. It was explained that the "warranty" is only good if you're the original purchaser of the heater; warranty coverage is NOT passed along to the subsequent owner, even if the thing is at the original house as it was installed when new.

There would be no rapid response team coming to my rescue, no hot water heroes racing to save the day. The company is instead sending some parts that will take two days to arrive. I should be able to fix it myself, they tell me.

To tell you the truth, when those parts arrive I think I'll be calling the man. In the meantime, it looks like I'll stay dirty.



"Aunt Bee, call the man!"