The Parking Jerk

So I made a stop the other morning on my way to work, hoping to be in and out quickly and back on the road to another day of drudgery. But what did I discover when I came back out to my car? Some jackass had parked so close to me that I could not get in by way of the driver's side door. There wasn't even enough room to squeeze into the space between his car and mine by turning sideways.

I was irritated, though not steaming mad, and went around to the passenger door. I contemplated entering on that side and climbing over to the drivers seat, but I had some stuff on the front passenger seat that would make it difficult. A few minutes went by during which I found myself starting to get really angry at Mr. Can't Park A Car to Save His Life, when I see some older guy (though not what you'd call truly elderly or decrepit) walking to the brand new Acura that was blocking me from getting into my 10 year old Corolla.

I walked to the back of my car and thanked him for parking so close that I couldn't open my door. He had gray hair and a beard and a fat pot belly, and after my comment he walked around to where I stood and looked at the space between our cars.

"Hey, buddy," he said, "I'm parked in the lines". He didn't for one moment offer even the hint of an apology, he just stood there attempting to justify his assholiness. I pointed out to him that common courtesy demands one not park so as to block someone's driver's side, and pointed out further that the parking spots, though not huge, were roomy enough that he could have pulled in just a few more inches to the left. Not only that, but the two parking spaces on the other side of his car were empty! He didn't even have to park right next to me!

Then he says to me, "Look at how you're parked". I looked and I saw that although I was close to the line, my tires were within my own space, with the front tire turned so that only part of it was just barely on the line. I also pointed this out to him and that I'd also wanted to avoid doing to the car on the other side of me what he'd done to me, so instead of being a complete jerk, I'd pulled in so as to make room for that other driver to get into their car.

That's when he called me a prick and went back to get into his new Acura. Yeah, I'm a prick for telling him he parked too close! As he pulled out and drove away he gave me the finger and I found myself shouting a profanity back at him. Then I noticed the American flag decal and the "Support the Troops" ribbon on the rear of his car.

Maybe I should have just climbed over the stuff on my seat and forgotten the whole thing, because I was a little depressed for the rest of the day.


Oh, and later, when I was back home, I found this blog about bad parking, Next time, use valet parking...

Park well, my friends.