Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Please, Sir, May I Have Some More Toilet Paper While I'm Brushing My Teeth?

Well, I've begun brushing my teeth at work. I know many do this already, but I'd never seen anybody where I work do it until a few days ago. I think about all the snacking and lunch eating and donut munching that goes on there, and wonder that any of them have any teeth left at all, considering that all that crap stays on their yellowed pearly whites all day. I mean, I know we've got a dental plan and all, but why subject yourself to dental torture. So I saw this guy brushing his teeth in the bathroom, and I decided it wasn't for me (the bathroom, not the brushing). Who wants to see someone rinsing and swishing and spitting in the communal sinks? So I bought myself the elements of a "dental kit"; a folding travel toothbrush (with anti-bacterial bristles), a tiny tube of Crest, dental floss on a stick (100 count pack), and 2 cute little bottles of mouthwash. I park on the upper parking lot, and pull in backwards. With my trunk open and me against the wall, no one can see my activities. So that's where I brush and swish and spit. It actually feels better having a clean mouth, plus, since I don't want to be brushing all day long, I've found myself reluctant to eat a lot of junk. I've been taking salads to work and snacking on things like apples instead of chips and cookies and all the other "foods" that leave so much residue on your teeth.

On another note, the restrooms at work have recently experienced shortages of essentials such as toilet paper and paper towels. A budget cutting measure in these tough economic times, perhaps? People got so fed-up that they (the powers that be) finally corrected the situation the other day. The stalls were once again suitable for number two, and the water at the sinks once again faced a paper nemesis. We wondered, though, if at some point very soon, janitorial duties would be added to our list of tasks in yet another effort to consolidate and make due with fewer slaves employees. "Sorry, Mr. Customer, Sir, but I can't help you right now. It's my turn to vacumn the floor."

No comments:

Post a Comment

If the post you are commenting on is more than 30 days old, your comment will have to await approval before being published. Rest assured, however, that as long as it is not spam, it will be published in due time.

Related Posts with Thumbnails