Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Posting, Just Posting

I've found it difficult the last few days to get the energy or enthusiasm to write any real posts. Sometimes that's just the way it is. In fact, I don't even feel like writing this. But I will.

I've got posts in draft that I started but couldn't finish, and lots of ideas, many based on current news events that are rapidly becoming dated (maybe I'll post them anyway, for the hell of it, so if you soon see a post about John McCain and why his temperament makes him unqualified for the presidency, you'll know why). I've got other posts that I'm getting ready, but again, it's a matter of finishing them. I wonder, too, if this all doesn't have something to do with my new, low-carb diet. I just haven't been in the mood for much of anything, not even watching TV. (Serotonin levels dropping...)

Which brings me to a DVD I watched half of last night. Or, I should say, that I watched half of half of last night, as there are two double-sided discs, containing both Gettysburg and its sequel/prequel companion, Gods and Generals.

I put it on for my aunt the other day. She is always asking for movies to watch, and when I brought over a few, including the comedy Big Fat Liar, she looked them over and picked out Gettysburg (Martin Sheen is in it!). After the first half hour or so, she starting asking if I was tired (I decided to stay and watch the movie with her) and I said no, I was fine. After an hour she became more insistent, saying I must be tired and we could always watch the movie another time. I realized then that the film was boring her, and, in my suddenly tired state (brought on by the power of suggestion, no doubt), I was inclined to agree. It was all conversations between generals and getting ready for battle; no romance or North and South style soap opera. I took the DVD out and said goodnight. Then, just last night, I watched it with my dad. Sometimes he falls asleep during movies, and I thought this one was sure to act as a soporific. But no, he was wide-eyed the whole time. The film appeared to end with the fighting at Little Round Top, but there were no end credits and no notice to flip the disc over. Dad got up from the couch and said what a good movie it was, surely assuming it was over, but I knew that just couldn't be so.

I searched in vain for anything on the main menu indicating we'd only seen the first half. I finally had to go to scene selection to confirm that indeed we had watched the whole of the film, at least what there was of it on that first side. I took the DVD out and flipped it, and lo, the other half appeared. On the first side it only said that additional special features were on the reverse, not the rest of the movie. The average moron would never have figured it out. Thank the gods, I'm an above average moron.

I will watch the rest of the movie later today.

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
It didn't say anything. It just let out a little wine.

Q: What's the difference between a grape and an elephant.
A: A grape is purple and an elephant is grey.

Oh, really?

Q: What did the grape say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, grapes can't talk.

Oh, really?

Okay, I can explain why I've included grape jokes, I'm not sure about the elephants, though. You see, the "posting, just posting" of the title came from my years with Ray the ex-race car driver, artist, sign painter and joke teller. He was my Mom's second husband and he would tell the same 3 or 4 jokes over and over. One of his favorites went something like this:

A man walks into a produce shop to buy some fruit. It's during the war or something and he is shocked by the outrageously high prices. Oranges are 10 dollars each, apples 12 dollars, bananas 8, and so on. He bags a few in spite of their inflated cost and takes them to the clerk at the counter to pay for them.

"That'll be thirty-two dollars," says the clerk.

The man gives him thirty-three.

"Hey, that's too much!"

"No, it's right" says the man.

"If it's right," replies the clerk, "then what's the extra dollar for?"

The man looks him in the eye and says: "I stepped on a grape coming in."

Ray was always joking in other ways too. When we went for a drive, with Ray and Mom in the front seat, and my sister and I in back, he would roll down the front window and yell to people on the sidewalk, shouting "Coasting, just coasting!" whenever we were going downhill and his foot was consequently off the accelerator. Sometimes he would also take my sister's doll, the one with the Phyllis Diller hair, and hold it out the window at the same time. My mom, of course, would always express her embarrassment at all of this, but still laugh anyway.

And so, as you can see, I'm still posting. Just posting, maybe, but posting nevertheless. Oh, and by the way, Gettysburg is a very good war movie.


  1. Hi there!
    I am writing a series of posts on God concepts and I was wondering if anybody is interested in playing the devils advocate – since all the comments I get are one sided and it just doesn’t make for a good debate. So if you are an intelligent individual that can respect different opinions and would like to pitch in a thought or two stop by :)
    Thank you!

  2. Thanks for the comment, I only had a chance to look at your blog briefly, but I liked what I did see. I will be back again when I have the time and perhaps comment on your posts as well.

    Thanks again,



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