Monday, February 2, 2009

Chicken Killed By Sacred Cow

I was kinda tired, but mostly I had to go to the bathroom. When you've gotta go, that always trumps everything (unless you're in bed in the morning and are too lazy to throw off the covers and walk to the bathroom, rolling over and returning to slumberland instead and then waking up to have to go even worse), so when I pulled into the parking lot of the shopping center with the Vons supermarket and several fast food joints, I decided to find a restroom first, then get some quick food from one of the featured "restaurants" and maybe go to Vons as well for some beer.

Popeyes, that'll hit the spot, I said to myself. Ever since being introduced to their chicken by a crazy Afghan, I'd been somewhat of a fan. "I'll eat where I go to the bathroom", I declared (I really did), so I chose Popeyes. After I parked, I walked across to Popeyes and entered the establishment through a side door. I paused just momentarily to look up at the menu board, making sure they knew I was serious 'bout gettin' me some chicken, then moseyed (I can't believe I actually spelled that word right on the first try) around the corner where the inviting porcelain fixtures awaited. I got to the men's door and was confronted with a locked restroom. Token required, it said, though I tried to open it anyway, without luck. I really had to go now, but there was no way I was going to stand and wait for fat asses to finish ordering their mounds of fried death until a Popeyes person was free to honor my request to just USE THE GODDAMNED RESTROOM!

I stormed from the place as easily as someone holding it in could, and walked a few feet to the next door Burger King. The restroom there was unlocked and clean, and it did not appear to be frequented by filthy bums. I gave my business to the King and ordered a couple whoppers, sacred cows and chickens be damned. I'll spend my cash where they let me pee, GOT THAT POPEYES?

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