Sunday, November 6, 2011

A. Loony: Bubbles

And now, Andy Loony...

Hey folks, Andy Loony here. I've been invited to appear each week at Skeptical Eye, which is sort of a come down after my previous gig on a hit television show every Sunday night, but what are you gonna do? It's not easy getting steady work when you're dead. I had to change my name to blog here, you know how it goes. Almost everybody says they believe in Heaven, but no one is in a hurry to get here (yeah, I made it, it's for atheists, too) which is kind of curious when you think about it. I don't think anybody really believes in God, until they get up here, like me. But as I was mentioning, I can't go under my real name, nobody would believe it's really me anyway...

Did ya ever blow bubbles when you were a kid? I did, but I never got really in to it like some youngsters. I had a neighbor kid growing up who lived next door, she had more liquid soap than the car wash down the street. I think she thought she would some day grow up and make a living blowing bubbles. I bet she didn't know they had machines for that. If she had I wonder if she would have gone on a crusade to save manual bubble jobs, kind of a bubble Luddite.

We only had little bubble wands when I was a kid, and we blew one regular sized bubble at a time. Now they can make bubbles as big as a person! And the wands are huge. I wonder how I would look inside a bubble? Probably be an improvement. Can you breath inside a bubble? I imagine you wouldn't have to hold your breath too long, bubbles don't tend to last long...

You always had to buy your blowing bubbles from the store in the toy section, because the regular soap wouldn't work. Once I ran out of bubble stuff and tried to make my own with Mom's dish soap. Didn't work, the bubbles were like bald tires in a rainstorm and they popped as soon as they were airborne. When my mom found out I'd wasted a whole bottle of dish washing liquid, I had to wash the dishes every night after dinner for a month!

No wonder they called the stuff in the toy section "magic".

Now they've even got bubble guns...

image by The Big Quack under Creative Commons

Now if only we could replace all those real guns with bubble ones. Imagine fighting wars with bubble guns, or holding up liquor stores with bubbles?

Some will call that a childish fantasy, but you know, I'd rather be childlike than dead, which I am by the way, but that's another story.

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