Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Finish the Story: Big Bad Brett and Little Innocent Nick

Maybe I'm just getting lazy (as if I wasn't already) but I have this fragment that I was going to finish writing, but now I can't remember where I was going with it. I was probably responding in a roundabout way to some comment of Bret's, but whatever, I'll just let this be the debut of a new series called Finish the Story, where YOU supply the rest! Let's go!

"Nick!" No answer.

"Nick!" No answer.

"Tarnation, where is that deluded scoundrel?"

Old Brett looked around but couldn't see him anywhere. The little brat was at it again (according to Miss Clover Wallflower who lived around the corner on Canada Street) calling anyone and everyone who disagreed with him a "statist".

"Well, I've had it with your stupid made up words, Nick!" he shouted at the air.

Just then he thought he spotted the little rascal hiding around the corner.


"What, you old fool?" Nick shouted back.

"Damn, you!" Brett shouted at the top of his weary lungs.

Just as Brett was about to pick up and throw a big black law book at Nick's head, there was a knock at the back door.


  1. Suddenly a cadre of pigs in full SWAT gear burst through the back door. They shoot Bret's dogs.

    Having been bitten by a radioactive Communist, Bret begins to hulk up and turns into a huge, red beast, flinging cops through walls and screaming, "Bret smash!"

  2. Just then the rest of the cops statrted shooting, but Brett was too much for them. The bullets bounced off his big red chest.

    "What we going to do" asked one of the cops.

    "I don't know, but it looks that the damn commies now have a superhero of their own"

    "What we gonna call him" asked a skinny cop.

    The Swat leader got a serious look on his face. "His name is obviously the Red Menace!"

  3. The Good and Noble Protectors of Law and Order kicked in the door and chased Bret to the basement, where he had many bales of hay and several new straw-men in process. The GNPLOs saw the straw-man factory (as it were) and changed their tone toward Bret, congratulating him on his clever Toobz posts that excuse all power abuses, and said to Bret, "now let's go upstairs and kick that hippie's ass!"

  4. Curtis P. FondelworthNovember 9, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    But Bret was still furious at them for shooting his dogs. He ran West so fast that the planet began spinning in the opposite direction beneath his feet. A la Superman, time goes backwards and he saves his dogs, then hurls a befuddled pack of police one by one into low Earth orbit (except one who was female and another who was black; these he raped).

    After convincing the two remaining officers that he doesn't want to "turn this double rape into a double murder," he knocks on the back door. Yes, it is Bret at the back door all along.

  5. When Brett goes to open the door, he sees Bret... but there can be only one. They fight dirty, throwing sand in each others face and kicking, always for the testicles. Triumphantly, the real Bret, the one with one "T," stands panting in a Captain Morgan pose, one foot resting upon his vanquished foe, the one known as Brett with two "T"'s, a sniveling cry baby who will be missed by none.

    Could this be the end of "The Red Menace?"

  6. Using Law books as a weapon. LOL , taking "throw the book at him" too literally.

  7. Sudden Bret realize he can't masturbate to gay porn any more because there are no gays who look like him and turn him on, he is too big and red. But he will go for it anyway, goes to computer, but his private parts he sees are not big like rest of him. He screams in agony. Little nick gets real scared that Bret is after him, he runs out the front dooor, Bret chases and sees even more police, they fire at him and one lucky shot hits him in the balls. Bret falls and crys out! It turns out that was his Achilles heel! He starts to shrink to the old original Brett but now he is castrated and so no longer takes his frustration out by calling people names. He is calm and listless the rest of the times.

  8. But then the other Bret apprears at the door, shouts out to cops "don't shoot!" he sees he double on the dirt, says to cops when asked "this is my bro! My twin!" He vows he will take care fo him but puts him in a convalesent hospital! The no balls Brett lies in his room all day, vegetating and dreaming of his short time as The Red Menace. Then he feels something on his foot, it a radioactive mouse! The mouse bites him! Bret turns into Mouse Man!

    Now all he wants is cheese but hospital kitchen doesnt have enought to satify him! He runs out front door to local dairy, goes crazy and eats all their cheese!

  9. Bob G., you mean, the cheese factory?

    Anyway, at the cheese factory, Mouseman gets violent when the cheese runs out, even though he is full and his giant mouse stomach is stretched way out. He vows he will get more cheese somehow, but as he makes his way outside he collapses!

    An escaped elephant from the zoo then takes his revenge out on the giant mouse he sees just lying there.

  10. This is in really poor taste... I mean seriously, this is unacceptable and rude. What the fuck is wrong with you people? You completely left Nick out of the story! What about Nick?!

  11. Turns out the elephant was from the circus! He is mad at being mistreated and always scared of teh lttile mice. But now he sees big mouse and takes Mouse Man in his truck and send him twirling into the air! Mouseman wakes up! He looks around, thinks he is a flying mouse!

    Nick is watching it all through binoculars!

  12. Bret is now mouse? Or what happed? Maybe he wake up and starts to real fly, then starts recuse peopel? Turns into hero? Nick is mad that he not a hero to! Starts act crazy, try to make himself by getting mouse to bite him, but just gets infection.

    Bret takes Nick to doctor, doctor runs away when her sees big mouse carry little nick! Calls the policeman. Police tell Bret put nick down! Bret gets mad again. I don't know what next!

  13. Bret is a frustrated little liar for socialism, he is still the red menace in mouse form! He realizes the criminal cops are his friends. he throws nick at them, says Nick is the menace and asks cops to take nick out, tells them "Nick calls you heroes pigs!"

    The cops realize Brett is on their side. They taze nick and shake brets hand. Bret falls down and kisses thier boots!


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