Sunday, April 1, 2012

Officer Nick?

I've applied to become a police officer. When I was a kid I loved playing policeman. I even got my parents to get me a cop uniform out of the Sears catalog one year (and it wasn't even Christmas or my birthday). I liked arresting the other kids for their "crimes". I proclaimed loudly that I wanted to be policeman when I grew up. Alas, that was not to be. Like other children who wanted to be nurses or fireman, doctors or race car drivers, I ended up doing something else for a living (though I'm still not sure what that is).

What finally changed now, to lead me down this path? I have to confess, it's the whole George Zimmerman affair. He's inspired me to get out there and crack some criminal heads. All he was doing was protecting and serving his gated community when some young hoodie wearing thug started trouble. I've had a revelation, so to speak, that law and order is necessary for a civil society (and true liberty).

Bret Alan keeps saying that without authority, people would behave badly, like the filthy animals they are, and you know what? He's Right! I'm going to be part of protecting society from the human animal's evil side. We cannot, must not, let the id run wild.

"But Nick, you're a "libertarian" I hear someone saying. Not anymore! True liberty means conservative morality must rule. Real freedom is liberty without license. That's why I can be a cop now, I won't have any trouble enforcing the drug laws. You filthy dirty hippies and your drugs, you make me sick. I've seen the low life scum that use "medical" marijuana. Stinking potheads! You deserve to have your asses thrown in jail! They say the United States has the world's largest prison population. Damn right we do! We still have respect for the law in this country and I so hope I get hired because I can't wait to add some more of you sorry drug addicts, pimps, prostitutes and raw milk farmers to the number behind bars.

Thank god I came to my senses. Thank you Bret for being a least small part of my transformation from anarchist to realist. Call me a "statist" if you will, it will roll off me like water off a duck's back. I've joined reality.

5 comments:

  1. i am in favor of law and order

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like law, I'm not too sold on the idea of order, though...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Law and order go together like biscuits and gravy.

      Delete
  3. Good for you, Nick. Me? I've always wanted to be a latex salesman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's never too late to realize your dream, T.C.

      Delete

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