Thursday, June 24, 2010

Tiny Caps

Or smaller ones, anyway. They're on your plastic water bottles, people. Take a look-see and you'll notice they've shrunk. This is to help "save" the environment, or some nonsense. Right now I have a bottle of Nestlé Pure Life water in my hands. In small print on the label, highlighted in yellow, it says:

This lighter bottle and smaller cap contain an average 20% less plastic than our original 0.5L Eco-Shape® bottle and cap.

So, the "original" bottle and cap were eco-friendly, but not quite friendly enough. They needed to be made even smaller. Right now, in the even friendlier size, they are difficult for the elderly to open. How do I now this? I know elderly bottled water buyers, that's how. What do they report? That they have a hard time getting the damn caps off the bottles. There's less cap to grip, and when you've got hands that cramp up into hideous looking claws and the joints of your fingers are full of arthritis pain, you need all the cap you can get.

Have politically correct bottle water corporations told grandma and grandpa to go to Hell in the name of being "green"? It certainly seems that way to this writer! Poor old people, having nothing but a nice, cool bottle of water to look forward to after a hard half-days work at Walmart, and then finding themselves unable to get their bottle open without assistance.

Now, the funny thing is, bottled water itself is not politically correct. I mean, "liberals" are trying to ban it everywhere they can.

And see how Nestlé itself is singled out in the following video (which does make some good points):

Some comments on the video:

Bottled water loses in taste tests to tap water? Who were they testing? I've conducted my own taste tests (double blind, by the way, as I do know how to run one of these tests) on myself and bottled spring water always beats tap. They say a third of bottled waters are simply tap water, but that means two-thirds are not.

Making the plastic bottles for water uses enough oil to fuel one million cars? Okay, but look around you for a second. How much stuff is made from plastic? Making anything from plastic uses oil that could have been used to fuel cars, but that's a strange objection coming from a green lunatic. Plastic is great for making stuff, yes, but shouldn't we make useful stuff from petroleum instead of burning it up as fuel? And enviro-nuts are also against cars, especially a million cars (talk about a carbon footprint), so what the hell is the point? That we could be fueling millions more cars and contributing even more to global warming? And stop using oil to make things out of plastic and the price of oil comes down, but that;s a no-no to the environmentalist wackos, who don't want more people driving more cars more often.

And yes, stuff has to be shipped once it's produced, but again, that objection just reflects a hatred of modern industrial prosperity, and what's that about drinking a bottle of water in two minutes? Most people I see nurse a damn bottle of water for hours. And what does the amount of time it takes to consume something got to do with anything? After all, it doesn't take long to burn a gallon of gas either, especially when you're driving one of those big SUVs that we could be fueling from the oil used to make plastic bottles.

Why does this woman hate India so much? She wants to takes jobs away from poor Indians by not shipping plastic bottles to India for recycling?

Manufactured demand means scaring us, seducing us and misleading us? That's what the video does! It's a perfect description of environmentalist fear-mongering!

And this woman says that if her insane video doesn't convince enough people by persuasion, get out there and work to get bottled water banned! Another confirmation that enviro-nuts need to use force to make their dreams of a society of no economic growth come true.

Carrying around bottled water is on its way to "becoming as cool as smoking while pregnant"? You wish, you little enviro-Nazi! You "liberals" have already made life miserable for smokers and now you want to do the same for bottled water drinkers? "Hey, take that bottle of water out of the building and drink it out in the tiny bottled-water area by the trash cans out back". No, instead, why don't you shove your contempt for ordinary people up your ass, you Nazi!

She wants us to make our own choices, as long as that means choices that she and her fellow enviro-nuts approve of, but not the free choice to buy bottled water.

But back to where I started. Listen Nestlé and all the others, you'd have to make your bottles and caps so small they would not be visible to the naked eye to begin to satisfy these lunatics, so why even try to please those who want to put you out of business. And besides, you're making life more difficult for senior citizens when you keep shrinking those caps, so stop it!

1 comment:

  1. I'll tell you what (Hank Hill), those bloody evil plastic water bottles come in damn handy on long drives. At least I don't have to waste time and stop at a rest area in Pennsylvania and risk being raped by a gang of lunile Amish chicks gone bad.

    Scratch that. That sounds kinky.

    Dasani and Aquafini; two of the shittiest bottled waters out there. There are some really good ones other than those.


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