Dear Mr. Skeptically,
Why are you not on Fridays any longer? You seem to pop up more randomly? Like on the weekend? Even on Saturday morning?
What are you trying to do, confuse people so they won't know when you are appearing so they won't get to ask you questions you know you can't answer? Is that it, smartypants?
Friday Night Tights (part-time but regularly scheduled superhero)
Dear Tight Ass,
Smartypants is no longer with Skeptical Eye, after numerous attempts to keep him here, including offering him his own private jet just so he could once again enjoy travel without being harassed by the fascist TSA. In short, he has moved on to other pursuits, and so can't answer any of your questions.
On appearing here on Saturday morning, well, you know that time period has traditionally been reserved for juvenile fare, and so Dear Mr. Skeptical has been moved to a more appropriate time slot.
How's it going, dude?
Are you the fat one or the skinny one? If you are the fat one, it's going quite "chubbily" and we too are fatter than ever before. If you are the skinny one, we can state factually that we lost a tenth of a pound in the last month, and we weren't even trying! So, all in all, it's going just peachy tart keen.
Dear Mr. Skeptical,
I know you're dead and all, but still why is your series labeled "fiction". I know I'm real and I had a frined who had a question of her's answered by you, so I'm not getting the picture.
Unclear on the Concept
You need to replace your rabbit ears and put a good antenna up on the roof, then maybe you'll start getting the picture and everything will be clear.