Sunday, January 29, 2012

Medicinal Grade Bacon

Bacon, the gateway meat for vegetarians and vegans!

Well, first it was pork rinds and now, bacon. I even bought one of those Makin Bacon things to cook it in the microwave with. It does drain all the grease away, but I really didn't have to wait to buy one to start cooking bacon in the microwave oven. All I needed was a plate. Imagine that!

Some girl (yeah, stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr. Radfem Tremblay!) at work started bringing bacon and eggs to work in the morning and leaving the aroma of bacon all down the hallway. I copied her when she said she'd lost six pounds in a week. Only I had to get the hang of microwaving bacon. My first try I overcooked it for fear of undercooking it. It also came out as a big clump, and was more like beef jerky than bacon. Then I learned to adjust the time and spread my bacon slices out on the plate more. I've been smelling up the break room ever since and have no plans to stop. No one minds the smell, by the way, unlike with many other food smells. Instead, I get comments like "Nick, your bacon is making me hungry" and "That smells so good!". Proves to me that bacon is special and irresistible.

My one difference with my bacon and eggs loving co-worker is she scrambles her eggs and cooks them up that way in a cup while I bring my microwave egg poacher and cook my fresh eggs that way. They come out perfect and go well with the bacon. Still, I think I'll simplify things this week and just scramble my eggs. That way I won't have anything to wash up after breakfast (the company provides paper plates and cups).


  1. Man, I hate when people cook at work. The weird and pungent smells that they often create can be overpowering and ruin my entire work day. However, if you were to cook bacon, my dreams would come true, and I would love you forever.

    1. Well, I guess then I'd have no choice but to love you forever for loving me forever! Cooking at work can really stink things up, especially when people fail to confine their culinary sins to the kitchen (what our break room essentially is with its refrigerators, sink, coffee maker and microwaves) and take them to their desks. We have pretty liberal rules on eating at your desk where I work, even though we're encouraged to eat outside the work area. My bacon has been a hit, though (yeah, I eat it at my desk). As I said, nobody seems to mind.


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