Proclamations and Reminders

Chicken soup doesn't do much for the soul, but it sure feels good when you're sick in bed with a cold.

The Atheist and the Bear are secret lovers, that's why they're always in those woods together.

Jello is better without nuts. No nuts! Got that?

Harvey is a funny name, but was not bad as a comic book publisher.

When some guy tries to hit on your girl at a party, just say "Liver alone, cheese mine."

Remember, those aren't gray hairs you're getting, they're just natural silver highlights.

Coughing? A smoker, are you? Never give up smoking, but on your way home, stop by the local mortuary and ask them if they can stop that coffin.

Amazing doesn't mean miraculous.

I know I can't, but I think I can.