Proclamations and Reminders 2

When you're not feeling well (when you're sick!) it's hard to update your blog and write more posts.

Cows wear bells because their horns don't work.

There is such a thing as coincidence.

A zebra is 25 times larger than an abra.

When an elderly relative examines your face and asks you "Do you know where you got your eyes?" tell them the truth and just answer with "Yes, they came with my head".

Jack Black and Jack White are like night and day (or are they?).

God is an atheist (he doesn't believe in a higher power).

This post needs more proclamations and reminders.

Proclamations and Reminders

Chicken soup doesn't do much for the soul, but it sure feels good when you're sick in bed with a cold.

The Atheist and the Bear are secret lovers, that's why they're always in those woods together.

Jello is better without nuts. No nuts! Got that?

Harvey is a funny name, but was not bad as a comic book publisher.

When some guy tries to hit on your girl at a party, just say "Liver alone, cheese mine."

Remember, those aren't gray hairs you're getting, they're just natural silver highlights.

Coughing? A smoker, are you? Never give up smoking, but on your way home, stop by the local mortuary and ask them if they can stop that coffin.

Amazing doesn't mean miraculous.

I know I can't, but I think I can.