Thursday, December 25, 2008

What's For Christmas Dinner?

Overheard at work:

"What do people fix for Christmas dinner?"

I wanted to shout TURKEY! Haven't you ever seen A Christmas Story? What's cooking on Christmas day? A turkey, that's what! Oh, some people have ham, yeah. Like the person who piped up with this: "We have ham, it's the traditional Christmas dinner". Well, to hell with you and your ham, I'd rather eat roast beast! Even if I had to go out in the snow and kill the beast myself. (All right, I like ham too, but why claim it's traditional but turkey somehow isn't?)

But I just wonder how someone could ask such a question in the first place. Wouldn't they at least know that it's either turkey or ham in most homes? Another idiot spoke up with an answer to our fool's inquiry. "We have Mexican food for Christmas." WTF???

At least with a turkey you can make sandwiches with the leftovers.

And if you want to get crazy, well, put turkducken on the holiday menu.

Eating Tips for the Holidays

I now agree with one of the tips from the link above:

Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

OK, so I've always enjoyed eggnog and looked forward to it every year. But this year, after consuming a half-gallon in one sitting a couple weeks ago and then reading the nutrition info on the carton and realizing I'd consumed two days worth of calories in about an hour and a half, I vowed to stop buying eggnog for the remainder of the holiday season. But then I read the tip you see above and rushed to the local Food City last night to buy some more. I went to the dairy section, and to my dismay discovered the regular eggnog was sold out. All that was left was "low-fat" eggnog, and lots of it (looks as if no one else cares about the calories either).

As I stood before the refrigerator case, some disappointed children pleaded with their mom not to buy the fake stuff (how else would you describe low-fat "eggnog") but she pointed out to them it was the only option if they wanted any of the sweet stuff at all. They agreed but they were not looking happy. I opted to try the stuff myself, so added it to my shopping basket. By the way, don't ever but the Silk soy eggnog. It has the same relationship to actual eggnog as George W. Bush does to an actual President of the United States.

I didn't bother looking for fruitcake, though I actually like the stuff, at least in small doses.

You used to be able to buy it in large rectangles at nearly every supermarket during Christmas season. Not any more. I found some at Wal-mart, but it was in smaller chunks and made by Hostess. I'm not alone in my taste for the ridiculed baked good. Someone at work asked if anyone had seen fruitcake in the stores. "No, because nobody likes it" came the inevitable response. "I like it" said the asker timidly.

I like it too, you fruitcake loving fool, I like it too.

Merry Christmas Dinner!

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