Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Interview With SE, By George

I never expected to interview the mind behind the greatest blog in the universe, but there I found myself, face to face with the one called SE.

George: You say Skeptical Eye is the greatest blog in the universe. On what do you base such an absurd statement.

SE: When did you stop beating your wife? Never mind, I didn't say it, I don't have to, you said it yourself, right there in italics above us.

George: Now wait a minute, I got that from you. I...

SE: Of course, I can't and won't deny the obvious. I do have the greatest blog.

George: What makes it so great?

SE: Read it for a month or two and you'll see. And I must add, it's only going to get greater. You ain't seen nothing yet.

George: You still haven't given an example of why you think your blog is so good.

SE: Not good, just great.

George: Why? Give us an example.

SE: There's nothing else like it and there never will be. It's that simple.

George: How and why did you start blogging?

SE: Is that two questions or one? It was by accident, really, but once I started I found I couldn't stop. Blogging became something to do, something to look forward to, and an outlet for my creativity. We are fast approaching the one year anniversary of Skeptical Eye.

George: What's the date?

SE: December 14.

George: But what kind of traffic do you get? How many visitors?

SE: That's not important to me. Never has been and never will be.

George: But surely you want as many visitors as possible? And don't you want regular readers, people who come back over and over?

SE: I don't care, really.

George: But if you did care, how would you go about it?

SE: If I build it they will come, in more ways than one.

George: Why do you sometimes go days without posting anything new?

SE: I'm always posting, in my head. The truth is life is hard and we are all dying inside.

George: What do you mean, "dying inside"?

SE: The other day, after a Christmas party I didn't go to, someone who did said he felt like he was dying. I thought he meant a hangover, as he'd had more than a few the night before. But he said he was serious, he had all kinds of pains and maybe he had cancer or something. I told him lots of people have pains and are dying for years and years. I've had pains since I was a kid. I remember having terrible chest pains while watching the first Benji sequel, For the Love of Benji, I think it was, and feeling awful throughout the entire movie. I mean the pain was continuous. I was still hurting when I walked out of the theater, and I was only 13 years old. Doctors never could find anything wrong.

George: I'm going to try one more time. Why do you think you've got the greatest blog in the universe?

SE: Because even space aliens with their huge, bulbous heads and mind reading abilities, can't top me.

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