But you see, anyone who works for the government is special, and we must all join together in sorrow when they pass on. And we must always show the greatest respect for them.
Take war veterans, for example. Thanks to movies like Saving Private Ryan, together with the barrage of government propaganda, I feel like I’m supposed to salute and sing “God Bless America” every time I see a f*cking veteran. If I’m in line in the bank, I’m supposed to get a rush of patriotic fervor and let him get ahead of me. If I’m driving and a guy with a veteran license plate cuts me off, I’m not supposed to flip him the bird. And why, you might ask? Because they (ready the drums and dramatic music)… Fought For My Freedom.
Maybe someone can clue me in. How exactly did killing Koreans and Vietnamese make me more free? Were there slanty-eyed Communists hanging outside my house preparing to ambush me, and just in the nick of time G.I. Schmoe swoops in and cuts him down with a few .223 rounds?
Saturday, January 31, 2009
I Don’t Support Our Troops
Airy Gator In The Sewer
Taking a shower is supposed to be a somewhat pleasant experience, even when that shower is taken in the wee hours of the morning on a weekday where you know you'll soon be on your way to work. I could stay in the shower for a long time (or at least until the hot water runs out) but when I'll be late to work if I don't hurry it up, I make it as quick as possible (that's quick for me, not necessarily quick for you). As I was lathering up my beautiful brown hair (don't hate me because I've got great hair, after all, not all of you can have thick, luscious hair all over your body like I do) I noticed something seemingly strange (and I'm not talking about my hair!). Water was spraying against the glass of the shower door. Not unusual, you'll say. Normally I'd agree, but this water was coming from OUTSIDE the shower. What the hell?, I thought, did a pipe burst or something?
I peeked out and it was coming from the toilet bowl! It was spraying up and going everywhere. I jumped from the shower and closed the lid of the toilet seat. The water was still coming out and running onto the carpet of the bathroom. I turned the water at the toilet off, thinking that would stop it (of course it didn't, considering the source, but I was in a slight panic) ; a few minutes later it began to slow and finally stopped. I noticed fecal matter dotting the wall, and my new dress shirt, the one hanging on the hook on the bathroom door, and that I was planning on wearing to work, soaked and dripping water. Leaving the mess for another member of the household to deal with (I was running late) I finished getting ready for another day in the salt mines.
When I stepped outside the front door I saw some water and sewer trucks. I asked one of the workers what was up. He said they were cleaning out the sewers and when I told him what happened he said it was probably the air pressure from the cleaning. The city did send, after a phone call, a crew to clean up the bathroom (and as it turned out, the kitchen also, as the water had backed up and sprayed through the drain in the kitchen sink as well). It was an unpleasant start to what otherwise would have been quite a good day.
THE ADVENTURES OF SEWERMAN!
"This is Matt Anchor."
"And this Tonya Newsreader."
"AND THIS IS THE CHANNEL 5 EYEWITLESS NEWS AT 5!"
"Good afternoon/evening. Today, just minutes after getting soaked with disgusting toilet water, a local man went bizerk and proclaimed himself Sewerman. Dressing in a Superman costume, including cape, and wearing a toilet seat around his neck, he ran through the neighborhood and according to eyewitlesses interviewed by Channel 5, shouted repeatedly that he was stinkier than an open septic tank and able to leap over dirty water in a single bound. Police later arrested the man as he was in the act of assaulting two sewer workers, a toilet brush in his hands."
I peeked out and it was coming from the toilet bowl! It was spraying up and going everywhere. I jumped from the shower and closed the lid of the toilet seat. The water was still coming out and running onto the carpet of the bathroom. I turned the water at the toilet off, thinking that would stop it (of course it didn't, considering the source, but I was in a slight panic) ; a few minutes later it began to slow and finally stopped. I noticed fecal matter dotting the wall, and my new dress shirt, the one hanging on the hook on the bathroom door, and that I was planning on wearing to work, soaked and dripping water. Leaving the mess for another member of the household to deal with (I was running late) I finished getting ready for another day in the salt mines.
When I stepped outside the front door I saw some water and sewer trucks. I asked one of the workers what was up. He said they were cleaning out the sewers and when I told him what happened he said it was probably the air pressure from the cleaning. The city did send, after a phone call, a crew to clean up the bathroom (and as it turned out, the kitchen also, as the water had backed up and sprayed through the drain in the kitchen sink as well). It was an unpleasant start to what otherwise would have been quite a good day.
"This is Matt Anchor."
"And this Tonya Newsreader."
"AND THIS IS THE CHANNEL 5 EYEWITLESS NEWS AT 5!"
"Good afternoon/evening. Today, just minutes after getting soaked with disgusting toilet water, a local man went bizerk and proclaimed himself Sewerman. Dressing in a Superman costume, including cape, and wearing a toilet seat around his neck, he ran through the neighborhood and according to eyewitlesses interviewed by Channel 5, shouted repeatedly that he was stinkier than an open septic tank and able to leap over dirty water in a single bound. Police later arrested the man as he was in the act of assaulting two sewer workers, a toilet brush in his hands."
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
A Music Moment: Crosby, Swings and Stars
Swinging on a Star was recorded in 1944 by Bing Crosby for the movie Going My Way. The story of the song's origin supposedly goes like this: song writer Jimmy Van Heusen was at Bing's house for dinner one night to discuss songs for the upcoming motion picture.
During the meal, one of the children began complaining about how he didn’t want to go to school the next day. The singer turned to his son and said to him, “If you don’t go to school, you might grow up to be a mule. Do you wanna do that?” Van Heusen thought that this clever rebuke would make a good song for the movie. He pictured Bing, playing a priest, talking to a group of children acting much the same way that his own child acted that night. When he took his idea to his partner, Johnny Burke, Johnny was quick to approve, and they wrote the song.
Child singer Lena Zavaroni sings Swinging On A Star on Junior Showtime, a British variety show for children that aired between 1969 and 1974.
Here is a short interview with Zavaroni from 1989 (she died in 1999, age 35):
Here she appears on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson at age ten singing End of the World:
I want to be like mommy!
A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment.
After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:
Dear Ms. Harris,
I want to be very clear on my child’s illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me selling a shovel.
Mrs. Davis
The above is not original to me (oh yeah, I did change the names of the Ms. and Mrs., that's my contribution to this post ). However, since I just saw it for the first time and liked it, I thought I'd post it. The version that introduced me to it you'll find here. The blog author there expands it slightly (and for the better, I think), including a change of locale from Home Depot to Wal-Mart.
After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:
Dear Ms. Harris,
I want to be very clear on my child’s illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me selling a shovel.
Mrs. Davis
The above is not original to me (oh yeah, I did change the names of the Ms. and Mrs., that's my contribution to this post ). However, since I just saw it for the first time and liked it, I thought I'd post it. The version that introduced me to it you'll find here. The blog author there expands it slightly (and for the better, I think), including a change of locale from Home Depot to Wal-Mart.
The Donut Study Stimulus
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut Who?
Doughnut forget to close the door!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Doughnut
Doughnut who?
Do not ask me again!
Why donuts? Why not? I've been thinking about the economic stimulus proposal of Obama and the Democrats in Congress. As long as trillions are going to be spent, I propose a study (to be carried out by me, of course) examining the influence of the seemingly humble donut on the human mind. Perhaps we can start in the workplace, offering free donuts every morning to millions of stressed out employees. Worried about getting laid off? Down a few donuts with your morning coffee and see if you don't have a brighter outlook on things.
Plus, thousands of donut shops and their workers will no longer have to rely on the police to guarantee their profits and jobs.
Millions more will consume the floury, sugary treats daily. We'll be able to test the power of donuts to overcome the will-power of those who attempt to eat something "healthy" and low-carb for breakfast.
In the break room one recent morning I encountered co-worker Nicholas. He was heating soup in a paper cup (microwave eating at its finest) but was ignoring the boxes of bagels invitingly open on the tables. There was quite a variety, including what appeared to be some sort of sun-dried tomato bagel. Bagels are a fringe benefit where we work, brought in one Friday a month for all to enjoy on a first-come, first-served basis. There are also several kinds of cream cheese offered for enhancing your bagel of choice, including plain and fruit versions such as strawberry. I asked old Nick what kind of bagels he liked.
"I'm not a bagel guy," came the reply.
"Oh, well they sure look pretty good to me," I answered. "What kind of a guy are you?"
"I'm a donut guy," he replied.
Now we, at least in our department, also get donuts on the occasional weekend. This is not company policy, but just something done by a manager or even sometimes one of the peons. They'll bring a box or two of a dozen donuts in on their own to share with everyone working that day. On one recent weekend morning I again encountered a co-worker in the break room (this time it was Elizabeth) and she too was heating something in the microwave.
"Smells good" I noticed.
"It's the filling from last night's tacos. My mom made them. I'm trying to lose weight so I'm not having tortillas with it."
I too have decided it's time to get rid of a few pounds, so that same morning I brought with me one cheese stick and two whole wheat saltine crackers. That was to be my entire breakfast and possibly lunch as well. And then Cathy showed up with two big pink boxes in her arms.
"Donuts everyone!" she announced loudly.
"Donuts everyone!" she announced loudly.
I tried, I really did. Believe me, I wouldn't lie about something like that. But the thought kept entering my head, one little donut can't hurt, and besides, you can start getting serious about your diet tomorrow. I went to the two pink boxes, their lids now removed, on the table at the back of the room. I picked the largest donut I could find (free food, may as well take advantage, you know) and walked the precious edible back to my desk. On the way I happened to pass Elizabeth's desk and noticed something sitting right beside her taco filling, an enormous maple frosting covered donut! Tortillas no, donuts yes, was that her motto? I guess if this guy's experience is any lesson, maybe that is the way to go.
I think it deserves study. Congress, here I come.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Work to Live or Live to Work?
Do Americans work to live or are they workaholics who live to work? We all seem to know someone whose life revolves around their work. It takes (or appears to) priority over everything else in their life, including their spouse and family. I once saw a segment on the news (or one of those news "shows" like 20/20 or Dateline) about foolish workaholics who are frighteningly addicted to their jobs or business. One woman even had a setup so that she wouldn't miss a call while she was showering! Sure, America was supposedly built on the work ethic, and there is no doubt that it's sorely lacking in some, but there are other values people. After all, life is short, and with the limited time we all have, we should seek balance in our lives, including plenty of leisure.
I once worked in sales for a company selling computer software. I had met a young, very sweet woman there from Germany. She was in the US living here and staying with relatives. We had several long conversations, but something that came up again and again was her impression that in the United States you are basically on your own. She expressed a strong desire to return to Germany where she wouldn't have to be afraid all the time of losing a job and then feeling completely on her own and possibly forced to live in her car or on the street (as a side note, at a couple of places I've worked, I've known co-workers who were living out of their cars and sleeping in them because they could no longer afford to rent an apartment). Barak Obama has also mentioned what he called the "you're on your own" society.
Europeans also apparently take many more vacations then Americans do, as discussed here.
And from some of the comments:
So, is it true? Do Americans work too much?
I once worked in sales for a company selling computer software. I had met a young, very sweet woman there from Germany. She was in the US living here and staying with relatives. We had several long conversations, but something that came up again and again was her impression that in the United States you are basically on your own. She expressed a strong desire to return to Germany where she wouldn't have to be afraid all the time of losing a job and then feeling completely on her own and possibly forced to live in her car or on the street (as a side note, at a couple of places I've worked, I've known co-workers who were living out of their cars and sleeping in them because they could no longer afford to rent an apartment). Barak Obama has also mentioned what he called the "you're on your own" society.
Europeans also apparently take many more vacations then Americans do, as discussed here.
It seems unfair to me that this way of thinking doesn't appear to exist over in the U.S. It's not just a case of being wealthy, as holidays abroad seem to apply to almost everyone in Europe, whether a cleaning lady or a lawyer.
And from some of the comments:
Definitely a difference. One reason must be the complete lack of paid holidays poor US citizens get!
Here in Sweden I get 30 PAID holidays a year - plus a lot of other days off like Christmas Eve, Easter and so on...
Having lived in Denmark and experienced their 6 weeks of vacation a year and family-friendly work policies, I agree with you that the American corporate culture is terrible. Here in the US people are lucky to get 2 weeks of vacation a year, and God forbid if they get sick.
Well...US is a capitalist country where people are hungry to make money. Also, they don't have a national regulation like Denmark, where one has to take 5 weeks of holidays. It's mandatory!
That's why I'm looking forward to move to DK, to experience a more relaxing life with tons of fun.
My husband says it's a difference of values--we value money and things, Europeans value expierences and memories.
So, is it true? Do Americans work too much?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The Relations Between God and Spatial Entities
In this article I attack the standard classical theist position that God continuously creates the universe. My arguments also attack the position that God only created the Big Bang or the beginning of the universe. I give a novel argument in section 2 that shows that God’s (alleged) causal relation(s) to the universe, and to any objects in the universe (that he may be alleged to create or have created), are impossible. If my reasoning is correct, it further leads to the conclusion that God does not exist, for reasons I will discuss.
God’s Spatial Unlocatedness Prevents Him from Being the Creator of the Universe
Thursday, January 22, 2009
He really was dying inside
In my interview with George, I mentioned a little incident regarding an acquaintance who thought he had something wrong with him. I told him everyone had pains (and I think they do) but he went to the doctor anyway. Turns out he wasn't in the best shape. He had an infection and high blood pressure and was told by his doctor to stop smoking and drinking. He did stop and is now on the patch. Someone nearby mentioned that they also had stopped smoking (this is a young man, just in his twenties) and felt, after a couple of weeks of coughing up black stuff, as if he now had a third lung and was able to run and climb stairs like someone his age. The dangers of second (and now in the news, even third) hand smoke came up, but the first guy, Mr. Patch, said he still favors smokers' rights. In other words, just because he himself has stopped, he hasn't suddenly become an anti-smoking Nazi.
The discussion turned to the news that California, broke and out of money, will issue IOUs soon to those it owes money, including taxpayers due income tax refunds.
"Well," said Patch, "then I guess I'll issue them a promise to file my return later."
We talked of the money the state is wasting, and how if we as citizens fail to pay our tax on time, the state comes after us, often with a vengeance. California doesn't except IOUs when it's your turn to pay them, not even if you're broke and out of money. The subject of cans and bottles and California's CRV tax came up next. I don't buy my bottled water in California anymore for the simple reason that I'm now charged $1.20 extra per case of 24 (used to be about $1.00). In Arizona there isn't such a politically correct tax on cans and bottles, so I buy them in AZ. Everyone agreed the CRV fee was evil.
These young men (no women in this conversation, though from hearing some of their opinions previously, the females nearby lean toward busybody totalitarianism) all supported Obama in the recent election, mostly because of the Iraq war and the erosion of civil liberties under Bush, and yet they have an instinct for liberty and personal freedom deep within. Too bad the Republican party doesn't even pretend to stand for such values anymore. A lot more of such young people might have found a reason to support them if they did.
The discussion turned to the news that California, broke and out of money, will issue IOUs soon to those it owes money, including taxpayers due income tax refunds.
"Well," said Patch, "then I guess I'll issue them a promise to file my return later."
We talked of the money the state is wasting, and how if we as citizens fail to pay our tax on time, the state comes after us, often with a vengeance. California doesn't except IOUs when it's your turn to pay them, not even if you're broke and out of money. The subject of cans and bottles and California's CRV tax came up next. I don't buy my bottled water in California anymore for the simple reason that I'm now charged $1.20 extra per case of 24 (used to be about $1.00). In Arizona there isn't such a politically correct tax on cans and bottles, so I buy them in AZ. Everyone agreed the CRV fee was evil.
These young men (no women in this conversation, though from hearing some of their opinions previously, the females nearby lean toward busybody totalitarianism) all supported Obama in the recent election, mostly because of the Iraq war and the erosion of civil liberties under Bush, and yet they have an instinct for liberty and personal freedom deep within. Too bad the Republican party doesn't even pretend to stand for such values anymore. A lot more of such young people might have found a reason to support them if they did.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Amerika's Emperor
Obama is a closet totalitarian. Bush was more open about his. If he does not move to become Amerika's first Emperor, he will still make efforts in that direction. He will spring a political surprise or two in the direction of augmenting presidential power or using the power that Bush has laid up in waiting for any president to use. Truman seized the steel mills. Kennedy spoke against the steel executives. Obama will come up with something on that order at a minimum. His nice guy exterior is a ruse. The unity talk is soft soap so that he can get his way. But the trigger need not be hidden personality traits. It can be the very bad economy.
I fear and distrust this administration as much as I did the previous one, even more because the previous one built a basis of extended powers for this one to use. Also, Obama has mob adulation behind him and that is dangerous.
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