TV Madness #1

I keep getting Kitchen Impossible confused with Restaurant Impossible every time I see it in the onscreen guide.


Hoping to see Robert Irvine (recently rejected as the next "Iron Chef", as if someone who can transform a half-barnyard/half-diner into a restaurant serving edible food doesn't deserve to be one of the lousy "Iron" Chefs" who mostly win their "contests" by default and favoritism -just my impression, Flop Network-) I instead see some guy named "Marc" (oh, how I hate that spelling!) telling me how to "tile a kitchen backsplash"...WTF?

Perhaps this is due in part to the rival Ramsey show Kitchen Nightmares, which would be better named Restaurant Nightmares instead. After all, I don't want to tune in Chef Gordon Ramsey someday and see him instructing me on the installation of sliding glass doors.

Cash Cab or Death Cab?

This was the Canadian version of the Cash Cab show "Taxi" that killed a pedestrian. Can't Canadians get anything right? Or were the Cash Cab folks in the Northernmost North American Statist Paradise just tying to imitate the Canadian health care system?



Fuck you, Ryan Stelting, you copyright Nazi! Everyone should know that Ryan Stelting is a little piece of Canadian shit! You are pond scum, Ryan!


A taxi with the production "Cash Cab" struck and killed a 60 year old male. The male appeared to be crossing near a crosswalk and was transported to hospital where he died. Police say the cameras were not rolling when the Cash Cab was involved in the accident.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

The BBC is cutting their comedy budget!

BBC Comedy Commissioner Cheryl Taylor told trade magazine Broadcast that it is expected that discussions will start over which shows to axe within the next fortnight.

...


Cheryl Taylor expressed frustration that she is already having to reject great scripts and performers because there aren't enough broadcast slots for comedy on TV, and predicted that the situation will soon get much worse.-BBC will have to axe some of its hit comedy shows

I've always dreamed of being Comedy Commissioner myself someday, but now, with this, even that dream has probably been shot down.

Question of the Day: What's Your Favorite "Reality" TV Show?

How real those shows are is open to some debate. My favorite currently is probably Pawn Stars on the History Channel, though I also like any of the several dozen (seems like it, anyway) shows Gordon Ramsay is in. What's yours and why do you love it so damn much, you lazy couch potato?


Here's a new one I may watch once, but I don't know know if will be worthy of my time after that.

Desert Car Kings

Why Are There So Many Babies On Television?

I'm talking about commercials mostly, and not diaper and baby food commercials, either. Does it seem that babies are now being used to sell everything? Maybe I'm imagining it, but every time I turn the channel, another baby! Enough with all the babies already!

No Wonder It Wasn't Funny

"If any line got too much of a laugh, they'd take it out. They didn't want a big laugh; they wanted chuckles." - Tony Dow on Leave It To Beaver

I grew up watching lots of old reruns, including just about every episode of Leave It To Beaver. I guess because it really was more of a show aimed at kids than even a "family" show, it seemed pretty good to me then, though I don't think I ever laughed a lot while watching it; there are whole episodes of the show that didn't get any laughs out of me at all.

Not to say that some beaver jokes can't be funny.

Unacceptable Behavior and The Drug of the Nation

Michael Mock confesses "I don't watch television":

I don't know what a Kardashian is. (Judging by the magazines in the checkout line, it's a species of dark-haired, bosomy woman whose only purpose is to provide a vicarious social life for bored housewives. Do they actually do anything, or are they another example of the Paris Hilton school of being famous because they're famous?) The Gosselins? If it wasn't for checkout line magazines, I wouldn't even know they existed. American Idol? I know, vaguely, about one guy - because he played at the local music festival. He got booted off the show right after he made his appearance. Adam Somebody-or-other, I think.

The Truth Will Not Be Televised

Arguments against television go back to its inception. Over thirty years ago Jerry Mander's Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television was published, presenting the case that the medium made it easier to control people. This is why the emergence of the Internet has the ruling elite running scared, as it is a powerful and populist alternative, and why they're now seeking to control and restrict it.

A flow of information is constantly streaming from the television set; a bombardment of words and pictures. The speed at which this information is communicated makes it easy for the signal to take control, switching the viewer's brain to stand-by as information is absorbed without analysis or question. Today the television's constant signal shapes the conclusions of the masses and produces the collective norm. The signal prescribes what is news and what is truth through the words of so-called experts and authorities, gelding the consciousness and independent thoughts of those subjected to it. Through television, the masses can be made to accept the most monstrous distortions of reality. The signal is a chill wind of continuous oppression over the minds of the masses. It controls the management of society and culture, creating uniformity across all subjects.-Unplug the Signal

PUPAGANDA

Conan O'Brien Refutes NBC's Contention

Conan O'Brien refutes NBC's contention that The Tonight Show he briefly hosted was losing money and also says the six months he had the show were not long enough to declare it a failure with viewers.

Reminded by correspondent Steve Kroft that NBC Universal Chairman Jeff Zucker said that after six months, ratings indicated viewers did not want him on the show, O'Brien says, "In my opinion, I don't think that's fair or accurate. But he's entitled to his opinion. I think for anyone to say that the results were in after six months that doesn't ring true to me," he tells Kroft.

Also reminded that NBC said The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien was losing money, Conan refutes it. "I honestly don't see how that's possible. It's really not possible. It isn't possible."-Conan To 60 Minutes: "Not Possible" His 'Tonight Show' Lost Money

So, if you are one of the people who even bothers watching late night network TV, did you like O'Brien as host of the Tonight Show, or did you prefer Leno, you old fart?

Seth MacFarlane on the PTC

There was a recent post on Bible-thumping parents trying to ban American Dad. I had to share this great quote from Seth MacFarlane (creator of Family Guy) on the PTC's past complaints about his shows:

"Oh, yeah. That’s like getting hate mail from Hitler. They’re literally terrible human beings. I’ve read their newsletter, I’ve visited their website, and they’re just rotten to the core. For an organization that prides itself on Christian values — I mean, I’m an atheist, so what do I know? — they spend their entire day hating people. They can all suck my d**k as far as I’m concerned."

Haha, too true.

Ban adult cartoons?

The same old morality-legislating Christian conservatives are wetting their pants over a crude--as if there's any other kind--episode of American Dad, calling for busybodies across the country to write to the FCC (another useless government agency that should be abolished, though that's a subject for another post) and get it taken off the air or something.

This is just silly. American Dad (along with Family Guy, South Park, etc) is obviously not for kids. It's aired at night with multiple disclaimers and you'd have to be a complete moron to let your child watch it just because it's animated. The scene in question is also considerably more tame than they're making it out to be. Kids probably won't even "get" more than 1/3 of the jokes anyway.

But quick--call the government and find a scapegoat for your crappy parenting, stat!

A game that just made my Sunday

My usual Sunday/Monday night of buffalo wings, beer and football just got way badazz. The Colts come roaring back and beat the Patriots by one point in the last minute! Muahahahahaha. This more than makes up for the Broncos losing to the Redskins (damn them and their fake punts!).

Ed McMahon, RIP

No long tribute here or anything, just wanted to acknowledge the passing of a television legend.




McMahon was named by Entertainment Weekly as the greatest sidekick of all-time for his work alongside Johnny Carson for thirty years (1962-1992) on the Tonight Show.

How to Lose Your Mind Without Really Trying

"You never watch TV anymore. Don't you know if you don't watch TV you'll lose your mind? Your brain will just go blank if you just sit doing nothing."

So said Mom recently to Dad, upon finding him sitting in a chair, a cup of tea in his hands, staring into space, doing, as he said, "nothing".

I've always thought that doing nothing is a good idea, so I'm with Dad on this. 

Of course, Dad still watches some television, just not as much as before. When he does watch, though, especially later in the evening, the result is often the same as doing nothing, for he falls asleep.



He likes to read, though, and always has at least a couple of books going at the same time. To me, that's a much better use of one's mind than letting your brain suck at the glass teat. Besides, Dad doesn't like a lot of what some consider the vulgarity of current TV shows.



Last night, on Directv, I caught a few minutes of something called Shop Erotic, which is basically just a shopping channel for sex toys. I'm not sure what Dad would think of that (or thinks of it, if he's come across it during his channel surfing), but I don't think he would consider two women discussing the features of various pleasuring devices a good use of a satellite channel, even if only for an hour or so.



Mom, on the other hand, would just call it disgusting and talk about how times have changed and how you couldn't even say the word pregnant on TV back in the day. Then she'll go back to watching her crime and murder shows.



Mom is so dedicated to television that she'll get irritated if the kitchen TV isn't on when she's preparing a meal.

As for myself, I do love the medium of television, especially digital cable with a DVR (which I unfortunately don't have at the present) but even when I am watching something I like, I still find myself dipping into one of the many fiction and non-fiction books I'm reading at a given time.

But back to the subject of doing nothing. I've often wondered what people have against it. I dislike the inactive brain, the brain that needs constant outside stimuli, the brain so unhappy with itself that it can't stand it's own company and must seek assorted excitements to keep from falling into total boredom. I'm content just to watch some ants, or look out the window at the passing cars, the leaves blowing in the breeze, the strange old woman sitting on the front lawn with a rosary in her hands. Hey, what is that old woman up to? Who is she? Oh, never mind, she's leaving, just out for a walk, I guess.

Yes, I think I could still be very happy without TV. Just don't dare take away my internet.